Maybe Tomorrow
by Last Munichorn
Summary: Only changed the rating. Not good at sumaries, just read it.
1. It's over

"Allison, don't. I just can't do this anymore. I can't. It's over."

With that she walked away and left a stunned looking Allison standing in the middle of the lobby, just looking at her and watching as she left the hospital without the blonde.

_How could this happen? How could I _let_ this happen? _Alisson wasn't even sure _what _happened. _I lost her. How could I lose her? _She just stood there, not moving an inch. She didn't cry, she just felt numb, marble. No, she wasn't breaking down but she also couldn't move from where she stood. Her reason for moving on was gone. She lost her.

_When Cameron entered the locker room, she saw her girlfriend at her locker, already finishing for the day and changed from her lab coat to her leather jacket,sitting on a bench and staring off into space._

"_Hey!" Remy turned around and saw her girlfriend smiling at her. Then she looked around to see if anyone else was in the room and when she saw that they were alone she answered with a simple "Hey babe!" _

_They were still in the closet. Allison couldn't bring herself to do it. She couldn't make their relationship official. No one in the hospital knew about them. Six months. Remy was tired of this. That wasn't what she is. She said she would give her time, but six months? Seriously, that's just freaking insane._

_Allison walked over to her and smiled, leaning down to kiss her girlfriend. But instead of her lips she only met with her cheek. Remy had turned her head away, again staring off._

"_Is everything ok, sweety?" Cameron was worried. Normally the brunette was lucky to see her after her shift and leave with her so that they can spend their evening together._

"_Sure, just had a long day, let's go." With that Thirteen stood up and walked to the exit of the locker room but before she could get to the door, a hand was on her wrist, stopping her from going further. She turned around to look at the blonde but before she could say something she felt her girlfriend's lips on her own. It wasn't a soft kiss, it was demanding._

_Soon the kiss ended and Allison stood there, smirking at her girl. "Better now?" _

_Remy didn't know what to say and where to put this so she settled for a simple "sure" again._

_She felt Allison's hand was still on her wrist so she took it in her hand and interwined their fingers. Again she headed for the door and opened it, exiting the locker room. They walked down the empty hallway and took the elevator down to the lobby but as soon as they left the elevator and walked to the lobby, Allison took her hand from Remy's and put them in her jeans pockets._

_As Remy noticed that she did it again, she stopped walking and when Allison turned around she looked at her in disbelief._

"_Remy, what is it?"_

"_You're really asking me that? When will that ever be over?"_

"_What do you mean?"_

_Remy sighed. "Us hiding. I hate it. I want everyone to know that you are my girlfriend."_

"_You said you would give me time. I just need a little more, honey. Please." Allison looked at the brunette in front of her. She looked frustrated. _

"_Ally, six months is a lot of time. I don't want to hide anymore. No one knows and it's killing me."_

"_Oh come on, House knows anyway."_

"_Wrong, even House gave up the idea of us being together, he thinks we're just best friends. He says if we were together I would at some point eat you alive in the lobby. I wouldn't do this but he knows I wouldn't hide forever. And he's right."_

"_I don't say that it's forever, Remy. I'm just not ready for this, not yet. Please, let's go home. We can talk about it but not in the lobby. People are looking at us."_

"_Yeah, Allison they are. I don't fucking care. But that's your problem. You won't change. It's been six months. If you ever wanted to make this official you would have done that by now. This just doesn't have a future."_

"_Remy please, you know that I l-"_

_„Allison, don't. I just can't do this anymore. I can't. It's over."_

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**Please review and tell me what you think about it. Just had this picture in my mind the last days and had to write it. Should I go on? **


	2. Just go for it!

**Well, I **_**had**_** to write my psychology assignment first that's why it took me so long.**

**Thank you SO much for your reviews. It was amazing to see how much you like this so I will try to update a lot on this one, since I have kind of a hard time with my O.C. story anyway.**

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Chapter 2

Ten minutes later Cameron was still standing in the middle of the lobby, staring at the hospital entrance which Remy took to leave her life. When her girlfriend, well _ex-girlfriend_ it is now, took off she felt nothing. She felt numb and she knew there was no way for her to move but now her thoughts were running wild and she suddenly realized what was going on, while she was still standing there on the same spot.

_I lost her, I totally lost her now. This wasn't just one of our random fights. She broke up with me. She couldn't stand us anymore, couldn't stand me anymore. Maybe it's better this way. She will find someone else, someone who's better for her. Someone who-_

She was shaken out of her thoughts when she suddenly heard someone talking to her. She turned around, only to find Cuddy standing in front of her. Cameron just stared at her, not saying a word.

"Dr. Cameron, are you okay?"

"?" The blonde just looked at her questioningly.

"Well, I called your name a few times and you haven't moved for quite a long time. I just wanted to make sure you're alright."

"I...," was all she said, not ending her sentence or even beginning to form one.

"Just go for it, Dr. Cameron!"

"Wha-" Again she did not go on but this time it was because of Cuddy cutting her off before she was able to say more.

"What reason is there for not showing a relationship with such a wonderful and gorgeous woman?"

"How...?" And one more time Allison trailed off.

"How I know? It's the way you look at her, the smile that forms on your face, everytime you get to see her, the blush you wear when she touches you occassionally."

"I..." Allison didn't know what to say. She just looked at her feet, not wanting Cuddy to read her like a book.

"What are you still doing here, Dr. Cameron?" Cuddy looked at her impatiently.

"I don't know. I just don't know. I don't even know where to go. I can't go home to my empty, depressing appartment. I just can't."

"I didn't say anything about going home. Go after her." She looked at the blonde ER doctor in disbelief.

"It's too late."

"Not yet!"

"Well maybe, but perhabs some time and space would be good for her."

"You should know Dr. Hadley better than that. Where do you think she is right now?"

"Well, probably at home..."

Cuddy just looked at her in disbelief, knowing that Cameron knows Thirteen well enough to know that she did _not_ go home.

"Most likely in a bar or a club," the blonde said, sighing out loud.

"Right! And what do you think she is doing at the moment?"

"Drinking her fucking ass off. So what?" Allison was starting to get angry. What was all this questioning about anyway?

"Yeah, right again. And what happens when your girl Remy Hadley is drunk?"

"I don't know what you are talking about! Do you have a point there?"

"Sure, go on and get her back before someone else takes your gorgeous girl home tonight! Because you know: Dr. Remy Hadley never leaves a bar alone!"

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**Sorry guys, I know this is a short one but I have a lot of things left to do for university and have to get up again in 8 hours. Hopefully I will soon find the chance to write again. Please leave a review if you still like it and tell me if you have some suggestions for me =) I'm always up for new oppinions =) **

**Greets from Germany**


	3. No future

**So first of all. For those who didn't understand the whole Cuddy thing: **I like the idea of her being aware of everything that's going on in the hospital and I needed someone to push Cameron for _this _chapter to work out! Why House didn't know is pretty obvious I think. He thought he knew but he just couldn't imagine Thirteen being in the closet about something like that for such a long time. But it will be explained later on. I have it all in my head. Just need some boring lectures at university so that I have time to write it down xD

**I hope you will enjoy this one. Have fun reading it.**

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…_before someone else takes your gorgeous girl home tonight!_

As Cameron drove down the street to the bar, which she knew Thirteen always went to before they got together, she thought of Cuddy's words again and again. They kept repeating in her head.

_She wouldn't do that to me, would she? – She broke up with you, of course she would! – But she loves me, doesn't she? – That's not the point here._

Her thoughts were driving her crazy. She arrived at the parking lot of the bar about ten minutes ago but she just couldn't bring herself to exit her car and go inside to look for her. The thought of Remy being with another girl in there was killing her. She kept playing all the worst case scenarios in her head. Finally, when she thought of herself as prepared, she got out of her car and walked to the entrance. On her way she spotted Remy's car in the parking lot. She gulped and moved foreward, hesitantly entering the bar.

She immediately saw her sitting at the bar and _what _she saw made her stop in her tracks. There she was, sitting on a bar stool, drink in hand and talking to a girl. No, not just some girl. A blonde woman, a _hot _blonde woman. Well she wasn't really talking. It was more of a monologue of the blonde, trying to be seductive and touching Thirteen occasionally. She just nodded at some things and gave short answers when appropriate to pretend she's actually listening to her.

Suddenly Thirteen gulped down the rest of her drink, placed the glass down on the bar loudly and stood up. She was done talking, she just wanted to forget.

"Let's get out of here," she said glancing at the blonde and taking her purse.

She turned around and when she was about to walk towards the door she spotted Allison standing in front of it, not moving, only looking at her hurt. She walked over to her and stopped when she was standing right in front of her.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Cameron?" She was furious. That doesn't help her forgetting in _any_ way. What was she even doing here?

Allison looked at her before answering, noticing that the brunette was fairly drunk.

"Oh back into surnames now. Great, seems like you're falling back into a lot of old habits."

"So what? What does it even matter to you? It's none of your damn business, at least not anymore! You don't get to judge me!"

"Actually I wanted to talk to you but now I don't think it is necessary anymore. This situation is pretty clear I think. You were probably right, this just doesn't work. It has no future. So, feel free to continue your evening as planned. I'm leaving."

Allison didn't even give Remy the chance to answer. She just turned around and left a stunned brunette behind.

The blonde girl Thirteen was with grew more impatient with every passing second. But it was difficult to get her attention, since she didn't even know the name of the brunette. When she asked her about it, she just answered that it didn't matter. So she just tapped her shoulder and began to speak.

"Can we finally go now?"

Thirteen eventually turned to look at her companion and shook her head to focus on the blonde from the bar.

"Ah…sure let's go!" With that she walked towards the door and exited the bar with the girl she met.

Hoping that Ally already left, she headed to her car and took the woman's hand to lead her there. But when she was just a few feet away from the exit, she saw her speeding off angrily with her car.

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Allison stormed out of the bar, running to her car and turning the key in the ignition. She drove off as fast as possible so that she wouldn't have to see Thirteen leaving with that bitch. But she definitely had no luck with that. Before she left the parking lot, Thirteen stumbled out of the bar hand in hand with the blonde woman.

She didn't even know where to head to but soon she found herself at the hospital again, parked her car and walked away from it to the next bar. She knew she couldn't go home so she tried drinking until she wasn't able to feel anymore.

_It had to do something good for Remy, so let's just try it!_

When she left the bar she was damn drunk. She walked back to the hospital, supporting herself as she used some houses as a crutch. She stopped at the hospital, leaning against a wall outside, memories flashing to her mind.

_Allison entered a bar at 11 p.m. and went straight to the bar, not even taking the time to look around. She had just finished her shift in the ER after a car crash with 12 cars involved. Luckily Dr. Hadley helped out, she left about half an hour before she did, because she had to stop at her office once more. She sat down at the bar and ordered a whiskey as soon as the bartender noticed her. He placed the drink in front of her and she thanked him politely._

"_Whiskey? Wouldn't have guessed that," she heard someone say, almost "hearing" the smirk in the voice._

_She turned towars the voice and sure enough there was Dr. Hadley sitting at the other end of the bar. She was right about that smirk. She looked at her more intense, noticing that she looked very tired, tired but still kind of relaxed and absolutely beautiful in every possible way. Well aware of her attraction to the stunning brunette she stood up and went over to her co worker, sitting on the stool next to her._

"_Thanks for your help today. We really needed it," she tried to start a conversation._

"_No problem. Alternative would have been "Monopoly" or House's clinic hours. I definitelly prefer the ER," the brunette answered shrugging._

"_So, why is that? What is wrong with the other two?" Cameron looked at her, curious about the answer._

"_Well, that's easy. Monopoly means watching the boys fighting about money like babies and clinic hours means people complaining and parents thinking the flu might kill their child."_

_Dr. Hadley took out her wallet and placed some cash on the bar._

"_And besides, the company in the ER is way better," she said winking at Cameron._

_She stood up and walked away from her, turning around once more. "See you soon, Dr. Cameron!"_

That's where it all began. Cameron felt tears running down her cheeks. When did she start crying? She also felt her whole body shaking. She had to get out of the cold. She walked into the hospital lobby and straight to her office, laying down on her couch, curling up and after another hour of thinking finally fell asleep. So much for not feeling anything... What a stupid lie.

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**Well that's it. I hope you enjoyed it.**

**And for those who want to know, I started something in this chapter that I will try to continue. I think of Thirteen in different versions. So you can see which personality I'm refering to when you read "Dr. Hadley", "Thirteen" or "Remy". Figure it out or just ask me. I'm just kind of a freak and liked it that way xD**

**Thanks for reading and please review to tell me if you still like it!**


	4. Miserable

**Hey guys, back again with the next chapter. The next chapters will mostly consist of flashbacks. They will clear up things a lot. It will show the most important parts before and during their relationship. Most of them are already written, just not the chapters in which they will appear.**

**Also, most of the following chapters will be from Cameron's point of view. Showing her misery. 13's point of view will be shown a bit different.**

**Have fun reading!**

**Amazon Life: **You will get what you want, it's already planned out which parts I will write down.

**Vanamo:** You are definitelly right. Just one thing wrong. Thirteen is not at work. Thirteen is the one drinking and fucking around :D You'll see and can check in the last chapter if you want to check that.

**foolishgames:** I think you might really like this chapter ;)

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Allison woke up the next morning because of someone knocking at the door. She looked up and tried to sit. The sudden movement made her head hurt like shit. She mumbled a quiet "Come in!" and saw her boss entering. She panicked a little but tried to act cool as she stood up and walked over to her desk, sitting down and finally looked up at her boss again.

"What can i do for you Dr. Cuddy?" She said, again looking down and trying to act as if she was doing something work related.

"Don't tell mo you slept here, Dr. Cameron," Cuddy said, looking at Cameron more acurately. Her blonde hair was a mess, hold back in a tail that almost wasn't there anymore.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said trying to hide the "deer in the headlights" look.

"Well, you're looking like a mess, have dark bags under your eyes and Dr. Hadley came to work hung over. That means yesterday didn't end well and you said you couldn't go home."

"Whatever," Cameron answered, getting pissed off at her boss.

"I don't care what's going on between the two of you. But either you talk to each other and resolve these problems or you start coming to work as if you are able to actually work. I don't care but if I see you like this again we definitelly have a problem."

With that Cuddy turned around and left Cameron's office. She felt alone. She hasn't felt so alone for a long time. Not since she broke up with Chase.

But not long after their break up she started dating Remy, so that doesn't count. She wanted things to end with Chase but she never wanted things to end with Remy. The last months were special to her. And just because she was a coward and afraid of what people might think Remy left her. Well you can't say "just" because that is really something big. She was alone because she was to afraid to have people talk about her. Sitting at her desk and staring at her papers she remembered how things with Remy started-after their encounter in the bar.

_Since that night at the bar Cameron couldn't get the brunette out of her head. She's been thinking about her 24/7 and sometimes wasn't even able to concentrate on work. Worst times were when the younger doctor was helping out in the ER. The way she smiled and winked at her when they locked eyes. It was just breathtaking. And what she said that night. Was she flirting with her? No, she wasn't, was she? And when the see each other in the hospital, why does she smile at her?_

_Cameron didn't know what was going on but she was sure about one thing: she had to see her again. Not in the hospital but in private, so she decided to go to that bar again that night and just hoped that she would be there too._

_After her shift she went to the locker room and changed clothes. She fixed her hair into a loose ponytail and looked at herself in the mirror. She breathed in and out once more and finally felt ready to go out. When she was about to leave the hospital she saw her in the lobby, talking to House. Well it was more like fighting. She seemed very angry. When she saw Cameron, she made an attempt to smile but it didn't work out well. When the blonde walked out of the hospital she heard her scream at him. _

_"House just leave me alone, this is non of your fucking business," she heard her yell._

_Inspite of everything she decided to head to the bar and when she arrived she sat down at the bar and ordered whiskey, just as last time. She waited about half an hour until she heard someone call out her name._

_"Dr. Cameron?"_

_She turned around and saw her standing there. She smiled at the brunette and pointed to the stool next to hers._

_"Hey Dr. Hadley," she answered politely._

_"What are you doing here? I mean, I don't want to sound rude. I-" Cameron cut her off by raising her hand a little._

_"It's okay. I just had a long day and felt like getting something to drink. What were you and House arguing about? It seemed pretty bad," she said gently, locking eyes with the brunette._

_The brunette immediately turned her gaze away and ordered a drink before she started talking._

_"Well, House just likes to muckrake and I give him a lot of dirt to do that. He thinks he has to know everything about me and spread it around in the hospital and I hate people that scrabble about in my life."_

_"Wow," Cameron said, "that was probably the longest speech I ever heard from you." She smiled at the younger doctor warmly. "So you mean he likes to spread rumors about you like your bisexuality?"_

_"This is just so much bigger than my bisexuality," Remy said, draining her drink and ordering a new one. She buried her face in her hands, with her elbows rested on the wooden bar in front of them._

_"Dr. Hadley," she began, resting a supporting hand on her companions shoulder, but got cut off by her._

_"It's Remy for you," the brunette said, looking up and smiling at the blonde beside her._

_"Allison," she said, returning the smile easily. "Look, just don't let it get to you. It's just House. I was there once. What he does to you now, is just what he did to me for three years. But if you act like you don't care it's less interesting for him."_

_"The problem is, he is right in some way and he knows things about my past that I really don't want people in the hospital to know."_

_"You can't avoid it but you can either learn to live with being more open or quit and search for another job. You're a brilliant doctor. It's not like this is your only chance. Although, I would really like you to stay."_

_The brunette looked at her surprised. That was something she did not expect her to say._

_"This job is a good opportunity for someone like me, I can't quit. But why would you want me to stay?"_

_Cameron thought about how to answer, she took her drink and finally and idea hit her._

_"Well, because I enjoy your company too, Remy."_

_She took her purse, left some money on the bar and walked to the door, turning around once more._

_"See you soon, Remy," she said smiling and turning back again to leave the bar._

Cameron felt tears running down her cheek, she didn't even notice until they fell onto her papers in front of her on her desk. Cursing she wiped her tears from her face and arranged the papers on her desk to finally start working.

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**I hope you like it. Please leave a review and tell me what you think about it.**


	5. Thinking of you

**Hey there, sorry for the lack of updates on the weekend. Was just kind of busy but here it is, Chapter 5, I hope you like it.**

**And thanks for your reviews again. It keeps me writing this.**

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It's been four days, four days since they broke up, four days since she lost everything she had. Four days since she even saw her. For the last four days she had been working non-stop. She never went home. She worked about 14 hours a day and then went to her office drowining herself in paper work until she fell asleep with her head on her desk. She left the hospital once to buy some essentials at the super market like a tooth brush, some cosmetics to hide her lack of sleep and some shampoo to take a shower at the hospital. She could have just gone home and take her things from there but she just didn't want to.

She had an argument about it with Cuddy again yesterday but she fought her off pretty well.

_It was late and Cameron was sitting in her office doing paperwork to keep her mind occupied. Suddenly she heard a knock on the door and without waiting for an answer her boss came in._

_Cameron looked up, locking eyes with the brunette and turned back to her paperwork. "What can I do for you?" Allison asked her without looking at her._

_"This has to end," her boss said._

_"I don't know what you are talking about," she said, still not looking at her and still rifling through her files._

_"You working that much and sleeping at your office! I won't tolerate it anymore!"_

_"Oh, first you have a problem with me not being able to work and now that I'm working hard, doing a good job in the ER and my paperwork AND House's, what should definitely be something satisfying for you, you have a problem with that, too? That's something I defintely do not understand, Dr. Cuddy," the blonde said, now looking straight into her boss' eyes._

_"Okay fine, but you can't keep sleeping in the hospital!"_

_"It's not something I plan, it just happens. I'm sorry. Something else?"_

_"No, but when you finish House's paperwork, bring it up to Diagnostics and let them sign it," she ordered before turning around and leaving the office._

It was 11 p.m. when she finished House's files and she decided to bring it up now instead of the next morning so that she won't come across House or even a certain brunette.

She closed the last file and walked out of her office straight to the elevator. Exiting the elevator she walked up to the Diagnostic's office and opened the door. When she turned on the light she stopped in her tracks. There was Remy sitting in her chair, her head on her arms on the glass table sleeping. She saw her stirring because of the light and when the brunette looked at her, she felt her heart break once more.

"I...," the blonde started."I finished House's paperwork. You all have to sign those and bring them to Cuddy afterwards." With that the blonde threw the files on the table and turned around, ready to leave.

"What? You don't even ask why I am here, sleeping at our table?" Remy asked baffled about the blonde's behaviour.

"No," the blonde began to explain, the door handle still in hand and her back facing the brunette. "You would either lie to me about it or scoff at me. And I don't like any of those options. So I'm just...not gonna ask," she said, her voice cracking at the end and eventually leaving the office.

The blonde ran down the hall to the elevator, pushing the buttons like a psychopath. She ran back to her office and slammed the door shut behind her, breathing heavily, bending down and supporting herself with her hands on her knees.

_I can't always react like that when I see her, I have to learn being around her without breaking down at the end._

She sat down at her desk trying to get back to her paperwork but thoughts of Remy were occupying her mind and making it impossible to focus on anything else.

_When Cameron came to work that morning she felt just great. She hadn't slept that good for a long time now and she knew it had something to do with the encounter with a certain brunette at the bar last night. As she entered the ER she had a smile on her face and it grew even wider when she saw Remy standing in the hall talking to a nurse. They locked eyes and the brunette returned her smile, saying something to the nurse and then walking over to her._

"_Hey there," she started, stopping when she stood right in front of the blonde, only a small amount of space seperating them._

"_Flirting with my nurses, aren't you?" Cameron said, knowing exactly that it wasn't like that. She tried to look serious but as Remy looked at her with a raised eyebrow her mouth turned into a smirk._

"_Sure I am. Like I said, the company is pretty good in the ER," Remy went with Allison's payful mood._

"_Yeah, now I get it, you're here because of the nurses. Well, I think I'm interrupting then, right? Maybe I should leave you and the nurses alone," Allison said, winking at the brunette in front of her._

"_Oh no, there's always time left for a beauiful blonde ER head. You should know that."_

"_Why's that?"_

"_Well because I'm here a lot and there are also good looking nurses in the clinic," she said smirking at the blonde._

_Cameron was quite speechless. How could she possibly answer that. She turned her head to look at the ground but suddenly she smiled and locked eyes with her companion again knowing exactly what to say._

"_Sure, but like you already said, the clinic is full of those annoying parents and complaining patients. So you take the ER, beautiful nurses and no annoying and complaining."_

"_Good point. Haven't thought about it that way. It seemed so much easier to blame it on the beautiful blonde leading the department. But maybe you are right," the brunette said smiling._

"_Actually, I also have a job, so I should go now. See you soon, Allison," she said, winking at her once more and then turning around, walking towards the elevator. These words were kind of an insider for them now, so it seemed. Cameron looked after her and locked eyes with the brunette once more before the elevator doors closed._

_Finally it hit her. _What was she even doing here that early. Obviously she wasn't here to help out, _the blonde thought to herself. _This may get really interesting,_ her thoughts continued and brought a smile on her face._

"_Oh my god, I will totally kick her ass for conjuring up that goofy smile on your face," she heard someone muttering behind her._

"_Good morning to you too, House," she said taking a file from the nurse station and looking at it._

"_So you break up with Chase for a little girl action. Good for me," he said smirking._

_The blonde didn't even bother to look up from the file to answer him. "It's not what you think, House. We're just friends."_

"_Sure you are, at least now," were his last words before he hobbled to the elevator._

_Cameron just shook her head and started to work. About half an hour later she saw Remy entering the ER walking over to her._

"_Hey," she said. "What gives us the pleasure to have you here."_

"_I don't really know," she said looking a little counfused. "There's no case for us and House send me down here saying something about paging him when the show starts. I didn't really get it."_

"_Oh no, well I do. He thinks we…" she trailed off._

"_Really? Oh, well that explains a lot. Why does he think that?"_

"_Well, he saw us…talking this morning," the blonde said, a little unsure if that's a problem for Remy._

"_Oh," was all the brunette offered as an answer._

"_Do you care?"_

"_Huh?"_

"_Do you care if he thinks that?" Allison tried to make her question clearer for the brunette._

"_No, why should I?" The brunette was beyond confused._

"_I don't know, I just thought…well because you don't like him knowing things and well."_

"_Actually it's better for me if he pries about this, he will stop prying about other things," she said shrugging. She took a file and locked eyes with the blonde once more for a silent goodbye before she turned around and went to her first patient._

_Remy worked a lot in the ER those days. House always sent her down. When they eventually had a patient, Allison was dissapointed because she knew she would see the brunette less than before._

_The blonde decided to go on her lunch break, returning her last file at the nurse station and signing something a nurse gave her, when she heard someone talking to her. It wasn't exactly talking. Someone whispered in her ear. And it wasn't exactly someone. She knew exactly that it was Remy. That smell was intoxicating, her breath on her ear and her neck made her shiver._

"_Up for lunch with me," the brunette had whispered, not backing off. _

_Allison still felt her breath and knew how near she was. She tried to breath in deep to form a correct sentence. She opened her mouth but nothing came out. She turned around and saw Remy smirking at her, her face only inches apart from her own. _

"_I…I'd love to," she answered after a while, totally lost in the brunette's eyes._

"_Great, let's go then," Remy said, walking out of her personal space and towards the cafeteria. Allison was still standing there in a stupor, not moving an inch. The brunette turned around, smiling._

"_You coming?"_

_Allison looked at her and shook her head to bring herself out of the daze the brunette pushed her in. _

"_Sure," she said, smiling shyly, following the brunette._

Allison remembered everything about that time. How they had lunch with each other every possible time, how they by chance met in the lobby in the evening and talked before they walked to their cars and seperated in the parking lot. After a while Cameron finally fell asleep, finding peace for that night, dreaming about Remy, about how things could be by now, but won't...

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**Defintely the longest chapter so far. Hope you liked it. Please leave a review and tell me what you think about it.**


	6. Just one date!

**Sorry guys that it again took me so long to update. University is just unnerving at the moment. I just want to scream like all the time. But still, here it is, chapter 6. **

**Have fun reading!**

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Eight days since the break up and Allison finally felt like she needed to go on in some way, pretend to get better and fool herself into thinking things would work out somehow sometime. So tonight she decided to go home and sleep at her appartment for the first time since Remy broke up with her. It was not a big step, but it at least was one.

When she came out of the locker room and went through the hallway she saw a light in the lab, remembering the time she found Remy there one night.

_She just had to know. She couldn't ask Allison out for a date without knowing. That wouldn't be fair. So that's how she happened to be in that little dark room. She switched on the little lamp on the desk and after testing herself printed out the result. Her face froze when she saw the red line on the paper. She tested positive. She had Huntington's. _

That's it. I can't ask her out. It just wouldn't be fair, _she thought to herself. _

_She took the paper and crumpled it in her hand to a little ball when her hand clenched to a fist. Staring off into space, she made no move to go home._

_When Cameron walked down the hall she saw light in the lab. She made her way over and when she looked through the loop of the door she saw Remy sitting at the desk with the printer staring at nothing in particular, holding a piece of paper in her clenched fist. She thought about leaving again but when she saw the lost expression on the brunette's face she just had to enter the room. She slightly knocked and walked in._

_Remy's head shot up and she looked at the intruder, gasping when she saw who it was. _

_"Hey," Cameron said with a soft voice. "What are you still doing here? House let you do lab tests at night?"_

_"I…eh, yes he did," she answered, not knowing whether she should tell the blonde the truth or not._

_Allison knew she was lying. She saw the pain in her eyes and she wanted nothing more than to take it away and give her eyes their usual beautiful glow again._

_"You want to get out of here? Grab a few drinks or something?" Cameron didn't really know what to do so she just thought of something to continue the evening. Maybe in a longer conversation the woman would open up to her._

_Remy wasn't sure if she just heard right._ Is she just asking me out? On a date? No, I can't do this. It wouldn't be right. _She looked at her for a few seconds and then turned her gaze to her hand. She threw her test results in the trash can and stood up._

_"No, I can't. I'm sorry. __I should go now. See you."_

_When she walked past Cameron she saw the dissappointment in the blonde woman's eyes and blamed herself for not being able to give her what she wants._

_After Remy left Cameron thought about looking at the piece of paper but knew it wasn't her business and left the room after a while._

_Since that encounter a week has gone by. Three days Allison saw her nowhere. She asked House about it and he just told her that she took some time off. And than on the fourth day she saw her walking in in the morning. She looked tired, exhausted. How was that even possible after three days off._

_Remy never talked to her unless it was something about a patient and whenever she wanted to talk to her in private the brunette left. Sometimes she didn't even say why she just said "I have to go," or something like that._

_When Allison left the hospital that night she saw Remy in the parking lot. She ran to catch up with her and tapped her on the shoulder._

_"Hey stranger," she said smiling, trying to ease the tension between them a little bit, since she didn't even know why there was any tension. She buried her hands in her pockets und looked at the brunette, biting her lower lip._

_"Hey Ally, look I don't have time right now, I-" Allison was tired of that sentence and cut her off._

_"You have to go, I know. But either you tell me what's going on or you're not going anywhere right now. Why the hell are you ignoring me. Have I done something wrong? It's been one week Remy." She looked at her more intense trying to find something in those sad ocean blue eyes of hers._

_"What? No, this is not about you. You have done nothing wrong. It's difficult okay? Not something I'd like to talk about in the parking lot of the hospital," she said looking at the ground._

_"So what is it then? Why didn't you want to go out with me? And why aren't you talking to me ever since I asked you to?"_

_"I did talk to you!"_

_"No, work related things don't count. And you didn't answer my question. What is it? Do you have a girlfriend or boyfriend? Am I not your type?" Cameron was hurt, she needed to know if she was fighting for a lost cause._

_Remy's head shot up. Not her type? How could she think that? "No no no, that's not it. Look, I really like you and I wanted to go out with you, it's just… I can't!" Remy lowered her head, again looking at the ground._

_"What's that supposed to mean. You can't. You're not in a relationship, so either you want to or you don't."_

_"No, it's difficult."_

_"I have all the time in the world," she said looking at Remy. When she saw her struggling she continued more gently. "Just give it a chance okay? Go out with me. Just one date and then you can still say, you don't want this."_

_"I…Allison, I really can't do this."_

_"Yes you can. Tomorrow night is open stage night in our bar. I'll be there at eight and I hope you'll come, too. If you don't come…well then I at least know where I stand." _

_Cameron turned around and left Remy standing there. She just hoped the brunette would be there tomorrow night._

Of course, now she knows that Remy found out about her Huntington's that night but back then she just thought the brunette didn't want to go out with her because she wasn't attracted to her, just not interested. Thinking about the illness of the younger doctor made her heart ache. 10 years was just not enough. She was so young. And even worse was that she knew she would be dying. Everybody dies and even people that are much younger than her do but most of them don't know it. She knows. That's the problem. That is what's killing her inside and Allison knew that.

Looking through the slightly open door she saw Kutner doing some lab tests and thought about entering for a split second but thought better of it. She left the hospital and when she drove home alone she finally realized what it meant, that there would be no Remy waiting for her at the appartment. She's not just alone in the car, she will also be at the appartment tonight and the following night and that after the following night. She's alone!

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**That's it. I'm sorry. I'm just so fucking tired. I can't help it. But the flashback was already written so I just had to make it fit in. Hope it's not too bad. Another flashback is already written but not the chapter to put it in and it also is not the one for the next chapter. That one isn't ready and I have a friend of mine visiting me at the weekend so I don't know when the next update will be. Hopefully on sunday, but I don't promise. **

**Hope you still enjoyed this chapter. Just leave me a little review and tell me if you still like it or if I should change something.**


	7. You are my nature!

**So, here it is chapter 7. It's the longest one so far and I haven't had the time to reread it, so I'm sorry for any mistakes. **

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When Cameron came home that night she felt more alone than she ever had before. She sat down on her couch in the living room and thought about watching TV but decided that she wouldn't really pay attention anyway so she stood up, turned on her stereo and pushed play. When she sat down again, the music started to play and as a few songs played along without her really noticing it she calmed down a little. Suddenly she heard the lyrics of the song "Maybe Tomorrow" by the Stereophonics come through the speakers.

_I've been down and  
I'm wondering why  
These little black clouds  
Keep walking around  
With me  
With me*_

She loved this CD. It always seemed to calm her. Remy made it for her so that she would have something from her when she couldn't be with her for some reason. This song always brought a smile to her face but now it just brought tears to her eyes. This was their song, that's why Remy put it on the CD.

_It wastes time  
And I'd rather be high  
Think I'll walk me outside  
And buy a rainbow smile  
But be free  
They're all free*_

She remembered the day that made this song _their_ song like it was yesterday…

_Allison walked out of her office that night to the locker room to change her clothes. She brought an extra outfit to work this morning so she could change to something nice before heading to the bar. She dressed herself in some skinny dark blue jeans and a purple shirt. It was simple but combined with the beautiful necklace she bought yesterday it looked pretty good on her. It brought out all of her perfect curves but still wasn't to dressed up if she would end up alone in the bar, sitting there miserable and dumped._

_She put on her coat, pulled her hair out of the ponytail, so that here blonde locks were falling freely over her shoulders, and checked her whole appearance once more in the mirror. With one final look she exited the locker room and walked to the hospital entrance. When she walked through the lobby she took a look at her watch. It was 7.45 p.m. and the bar was just a ten minute walk from the hospital so she decided to leave her car in the hospital parking lot and just walk there._

_When she walked through the streets she took in some deep breaths. She loves it when the cold air hits her lungs. It makes her feel free. _

_Going to that bar that night was a big step for her, too. She liked Remy a lot but she also was afraid what others would think of her dating a woman. Cameron was always the shy one when it came to her personality. She could act like she was all self confident but only when it meant being normal, being like others wanted her to be. She was the compassionate one because people loved her for it, she was the one that always did the right thing, the good girl, because people thought of her like that._

_Did she really want to be the gay girl? Or the bisexual? She admired Remy for handling all this so well. The question is: Could she do that, too? Out and proud? Was that what she wanted? She hated homophobic people, she wasn't one of them but she knew that a lot of people in the hospital were. Also a lot of her nurses. Would they even respect her anymore if they knew?_

_All these questions were killing her. And she didn't have an answer for them but she _knew_ how much she liked Remy. How the brunette could make her laugh even after a hell of a shift in the ER. How she could make her smile just by seeing her somewhere in the hospital. How they could just talk for hours or just sit in a wonderful and comfortable silence. She was in a way very sure about this. She knew she wanted to be around the brunette as much as possible. Everytime she saw a sad look on her face she just wanted to be the one to ease the pain, to take her in her arms, to kiss away tears that fall down those soft cheeks. She did not know a lot but she knew that she wanted to be with her. She just had to dismiss these other thoughts out of her head for that evening. She wanted to enjoy her time with the brunette. If she will even show up. _

_When the blonde looked up she saw that she was already at her aim and walked into the bar. She looked around for ther younger doctor but realised that she wasn't there…_yet_, she tried to encourage herself. She sat down at the bar ordering a whiskey and checking the time on her watch. It was 8.03 p.m. when the bartender placed her drink in front of her._

She's late, _a part of Cameron's mind established. _She's not coming, _told her the other part._ Shut up, both of you. God, I think now I'm really going crazy, _she told herself._

_Every few minutes she looked at her watch. 8.07, 8.14, 8.20, 8.27. _Now it's official, I got dumped.

_She was about to stand up, when a man came up beside her._

"_Such a beautiful woman like you alone in a bar? I can't believe this. Is this seat already taken?" The guy asked, pointing at the bar stool right next to her._

_The blonde was going to answer when someone else did it for her._

"_Yes, it is," the brunette said, looking angry at the man standing next to Allison. The man did not say anything after that and Remy just looked at Allison as if she was about to say sorry just by looking her in the eyes. Allison's face lightened up, when she saw Remy standing there._

"_Hey," the blonde said, smiling when she saw Remy twiddling with her hands._

"_Hey," the brunette answered. "I'm sorry for being late. You know, House."_

"_Sure, been there," the blonde said shrugging. "Want to sit down?" _

"_Actually I think we should sit at a table. From over there we can see the stage way better."_

"_Okay, just lead the way," she said, again smiling at the brunette in front of her and standing up from her bar stool._

_Remy smiled back easily and went over to a table for two a few meters away from the little stage. She pulled out a stair and waited for Allison to sit down. After that she sat down across from her. The whole time Allison had a bright smile on her face. Just being near her made her heart jump._

"_I'm really glad you came."_

"_Me too," the brunette said. She hesitated a little bit before she continued. "I have to admit something. I wasn't about to come. My shift ended at 6 p.m. and after it I just went home pondering about whether to meet you or not. I'm sorry," she explained, looking at her hands._

_Allison was a bit hurt when she heard that but thought better of it. "What made you change your mind?"_

"_You," she simply answered, looking straight into the green eyes across from her._

_On the stage the first band came up and began to play a song._

_Allison looked at Remy with wide eyes, a warm smile forming on her lips. She placed her hand on top of the brunette's and caressed it with her thumb. She was surprised how comfortable she was with them being in public holding hands but she knew that this was different than being at the hospital. People here didn't know them and she also wasn't their boss and needed respect from them._

_They sat in a pleasent silence watching each other and never breaking eye contact._

So maybe tomorrow  
I'll find my way home  
So maybe tomorrow  
I'll find my way home*

_While the band played in the background, Allison picked up a change of mood on Remy's face. They were still looking at each other and her hand was still on Remy's but the brunette's face looked kind of sad. She just couldn't quite make out why._

I look around at a beautiful life  
Been the upperside of down  
Been the inside of out  
But we breathe  
We breathe*

_The blonde realised how that look got even sadder every few seconds. Finally Remy broke eye contact and looked down at their hands, growing more and more tense._

I wanna breeze and an open mind  
I wanna swim in the ocean  
Wanna take my time for me  
All me*

_She noticed that the brunette was about to take back her hand and fastened her grip. That made Remy look up at her and pulled her out of her daze, fear shining in her crystal blue eyes._

"_Is everything okay?"_

"_Sure," the younger doctor said, giving her a halfhearted smile. "Come on, let's go."_

"_What? It's not even 10 o'clock."_

"_Who said we're going home?" The brunette showed a big smile and stood up, not letting go of the blonde's hand and interwined their fingers. Allison smiled back at her and stood up, following her out of the bar. _

So maybe tomorrow  
I'll find my way home  
So maybe tomorrow  
I'll find my way home*

_Once out of the bar, Remy picked up speed, dragging Cameron with her._

"_Where are we going?"_

"_You'll see," she said, turning her head towards her, to flash a smile at her._

"_You're like a little child," she said, laughing at the excitement that Remy held but also fascinated about it._

"_No, I'm actually worse!"_

_After a walk of about five minutes they arrived at a park. Suddenly Remy stopped at a bench and sat down. Cameron looked down at her questiningly._

"_Sit with me?"_

"_Sure," the blonde answered, sitting down next to the brunette._

"_I just love nature. It makes me feel alive. And every time I need to feel that again I come here. I just sit down and close my eyes, taking in the air around me, listening to the sounds of nature. Out here it doesn't matter who you are. Nature loves you the way you are. When I come here at night, I watch the stars, sometimes for hours. Being here makes me feel, it brings out the good in me," she said turning to look at Cameron. "You do that to me, too. You are like nature to me. You make me smile, you make me laugh, you always bring out the best in me and you take me as I am."_

_Cameron was tongue-tied. Never in her life has someone told her something that wonderful. She just looked at the brunette, drowning in her beautiful blue eyes. She wanted to say something but she was afraid to ruin what the brunette had created. It was like they were in their own world now, in their own universe even. Her eyes wandered from Remy's blue crystals to her wonderful red lips. She bit her lip when the brunette wetted hers. She looked into her eyes again and searched for some kind of permission. Remy leaned a bit foreward into Allison's space, locking eyes with her and the blonde added the last ten percent so that their lips were crashing against each other's. _

_Their kiss was soft, just lips touching lips and it lasted only a few seconds until Remy backed off a little bit. She tried to make eye contact with the blonde, but Allison's eyes were still closed, drowning in the sensation of the previous kiss. When she opened her eyes they looked at each other and Remy searched for any kind of insecurity on Allison's side._

_Allison just smiled when she saw Remy looking her deep in the eyes. She leaned forward and placed her lips on the younger doctor's ones again. It was again soft at the beginning but then Allison deepened it and when Remy moaned into her mouth she slowly thrusted her tongue into her mouth. the kiss became more passionate and in a way demanding. After a while they seperated for the lack of oxygen and Allison saw Remy still sat there with her eyes closed and completely breathless. She smiled at the sight and took Remy's hand._

"_Wow," the brunette let out, finally opening her eyes._

"_Yeah," the blonde agreed with her._

_She laid her head on Remy's shoulder and looked up at the stars, wishing that moment would never have to end._

But it did end and it send them back into reality. This was definitelly not the end of her fight for Remy.

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***Stereophonics - Maybe Tomorrow**

**So, I'm actually not really happy about this chapter because it seems like this is the one you all waited for and I'm kind of dissapointed about my writing in this chapter. Well, I hope you still somehow enjoyed it. Please leave a review and let me know if you still liked it.**


	8. The fear in your eyes

So, it took me some time to go on, I have my first big test in less than two weeks and people are driving me crazy with their stupid questions just because they think I know the answers to all of them. So now I just take some time off from learning and what is more relaxing than writing?!

**So here it is, chapter 8. And for those who are waiting. This is one of the last flashback from Cameron. There will be one more as it looks now. So chapter ten will be from Remy's point of view. **

**Enjoy!**

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When Cameron woke up that morning she made a note in her head to make a plan. She looked to the side and took in the empty place beside her. She felt her heart ache once more. Shaking her head to focus on the important things, she stood up and went to her bathroom.

Looking at herself in the mirror, she noticed how fucked up she looked. She was a mess and she didn't hide it at all the past days. She can't win Remy back looking that horrible. She took a shower first and then started to hide her lack of sleep and the sadness which seemed to be tattooed on her face. She used some make up and mascara and looked at herself again. Way better. After she dried her hair she just had to find something to wear. She went to her closet and after searching for a while she decided to take the outfit from their first date. She searched for the necklace she wore back then and put a little vest on because the shirt alone would be way to cold that time of the year. Looking at herself once more she felt ready to go. She took one last breath, grabbed her coat and her purse and left her appartment.

She drove to work and went from the parking lot to the hospital. When she entered it and went through the lobby she felt as if someone was punching the shit out of her. She stood still for a while at the place where she stood nine days ago. It felt like she went through it all over again. When she saw Cuddy walking over to her she shook her head out of her daze, gave her boss a fake smile and went straight to her office, closing the door behind her. She had to calm down. Fast.

_I can't chicken out now, I have to be brave. I need to have the strength to tell her that I love her. That I don't care about anything else and that I need her, _she told herself.

She took a few deep breaths, calming down a little. She lay down her purse and her coat and went out of her office, confident to tell Remy everything.

When she rounded a corner she stopped in her tracks. A few meters away from her the brunette did the same. The blonde couldn't move. She looked at her ex girlfriend and saw the mess she was. The dark circles under her eyes that gave away her lack of sleep. Her hip bones that stood out way too much showed that she definitely did not eat enough and that look in her eyes when she saw her. It was sad and angry for sure, but there was something else. She saw that look before. It was almost as if she was afraid of something. She saw that look before, when she found her at the lab for the second time.

_After their date Cameron was in her own little dream world. She came to work that morning with a big smile on her face, greeting everyone she saw and even truly happy to be at work because she knew she'd see Remy there._

_She was hoping that House might send her down because she heard that they did not have a case at the moment, but throughout the morning she hadn't seen her at all._

_Still her thoughts were wandering to the brunette every few minutes. Their way to communicate, her eyes which were hypnotizing, her smile that was contagious, her smell that intoxiacated her completely and the kiss they shared. The kiss that left Cameron wantig more, more of her. When Remy left that night she was slightly disappointed and alone but they decided to take it slow. _

_It was already noon and there was still no sign of her. That's why she decided to search for her, so they could have lunch together. As she couldn't find her at their office or at the clinic and no one knew where she was, she got a little bit concerned. Kutner had told her that she worked at the clinic in the morning and left a few minutes ago without giving a reason or saying where she'd go. Cameron headed to the cafeteria and when she didn't find her there either she felt helpless. She didn't know where to search anymore. She thought about her previous encounters with the brunette and when she didn't find her in any of the on call rooms or the doctor's lounge she went to the lab where she found her one night._

_She walked down the hall, concern growing more and more in her and when she approached the lab, she stopped. She wasn't quite sure why she thought she would find her there but she felt she was right. She opened the door quietly and sure enough found Remy in the same position as last time, in a total daze and with a paper in her clenched fist. The brunette didn't even notice her entering the room. She just starred off into space, her jaw clenched, her eyes sad and her whole body shaking._

"_Remy?" No answer._

"_Rem?" The brunette lifted her head up and looked at her like a deer caught in the headlights._

"_What are you doing here sweety?" Cam asked her with a soft voice concern evident in her voice._

"_I…I just did some lab tests for our case," she answered looking down at her hands._

"_So, no you're lying to me? Great, just great," the blonde scoffed, turning around to leave the room._

"_How did you-"_

"_How I guessed you're lying? Because Cuddy told me you had no case and when I searched for you to have lunch together, Kutner told me you worked at the clinic this morning," she said, her back still facing the brunette and eventually leaving the room._

_Cameron decided to leave out lunch and get back to work, distracting herself. When she finished her shift at 7 p.m. she went to the locker room and changed from her pink scrubs to a coat, closed her locker again and was about to leave when the door opened. She saw the brunette that just jumped in breathless, staring at her and looked at the ground immediately._

"_Ally-" the brunette started, trying to get her to look at her but got cut off._

"_Don't! Remy, it's okay, you don't want this. Seems like I kind of forced you into this anyway. So just leave it like this. I don't want anymore lies," the blonde said calmly, clearly exhausted from her day and still not looking at Remy._

"_No-" Again she couldn't finish or even really start._

"_You don't have to explain."_

"_Allison, would you please just listen to me?" The blonde didn't say anything, so Remy felt as if she could continue. "I never wanted to lie to you and I never ever want to do that, I just felt that I had to do it because I wanted to protect you."_

"_Yeah, so it would have been that bad to tell me you worked at the clinic that morning and were at the lab for a little peace or something like that."_

_  
"No, you would have known that I _chose_ to go to the clinic and that would mean that I avoided you because usually I _never_ choose the clinic over the ER and that would have made you worry. I don't want you to worry. And well. You would have also known the fact that today was the second time you saw me alone in the lab when I did not do any tests for work," Remy said, now looking to the ground._

_While Remy spoke, Allison lifted her head and looked at her, searching for anything to proof she's being honest. The sad look on the brunette's face and the fact that at some point she couldn't even look at her anymore said everything. When Remy tells something private that makes her look vulnerable, she is somehow not able to look at her companion anymore._

"_So why would you avoid me?"_

"_Because yesterday shouldn't have happened. This just can't happen," the younger docot said, truly hurt by what she told the blonde._

"_Why is that? You can't even look at me while you say that."_

"_It's the same reason as the one for me being at the lab. I had to know for sure and now that I do, I know that I can't do that to you."_

_A single tear ran down Remy's face and Allison was overwhelmed with emotions. _What is she talking about?

"_What do you mean Remy?"_

_There was no answer, just a silent sob. Allison walked over to the girl she fell for so hard and touched her arm that was with her other one crossed in front of her chest. Remy never looked at her, she just shook her head and began to cry even more._

"_Rem…" Allison tried again, caressing the brunette's arm._

_The younger doctor took a step back and shook her head again._

"_Don't Ally…" she said, her voice almost cracking when she used the other woman's nickname._

_Allison just stood there, not knowing what to do anymore. _What is the matter with her? What is going on in that head?_ She did not say anything, noticing that Remy was about to say more, just not able to yet._

"_Ally, I'm… I'm sick," she finally said, almost choking on her words._

"_What do you mean, you're sick? We're at a hospital, it's not like we can't do anything for you here." The blonde got more and more desperate, knowing this was something much bigger than the brunette wanted to admit._

"_They can't do anything. You can't do anything and neither can I. I have… I have Huntington's Chorea. My mom died from it when I was twelve years old."_

"_Are you… Are you sure?" That was just not what she had expected. This must be a dream, it can't be true. Not now._

"_I took the test two times. I am sure. And I know about your husband. I don't want you to go through something like that again. This is even harder. I lived through it. I hated my mother in the end. I don't want you to hate me. I also saw how it tore my father apart. I can't do this to you."_

_Allison was shocked but the more Remy spoke the angrier she got._

"_Who do you think you are?" The brunette's head shot up, surprised of Cameron's reaction. "You can't make my decisions, okay? You can't. If I think I can do this, I will."_

_Remy was about to cry again. This girl meant so much to her but how could she possibly do that to her?_

"_I don't want you to hate me, Ally," she said, tears falling freely from her eyes now._

"_Honey, shh," she tried to calm her, speaking softly again, taking a step forward and holding her face in her hands. "I will never hate you. Please, don't cry."_

_Remy just looked at her, with her sad blue eyes. Allison felt like she needed to proof her point so she leaned foreward and kissed the brunette softly, her lips lingering on the younger woman's for a little while. After breaking apart, Allison looked at Remy's eyes again and saw a little hope there. So she leaned in again but this time the kiss was passionate and when Remy let out a moan and parted her lips the blonde thrusted her tongue in the other's mouth, their tongues meeting with want and need and Remy finally calming down, holding Allison's hips and pulling her in even closer._

Allison shook her head for the third time this morning and looked at Remy again. Then it hit her. _That's why she didn't want to wait anymore. She didn't want to waste more time. She wanted to live what's left of her life without hiding. _

Suddenly she saw Remy looking down at her hands frightened to death and followed her gaze. She saw Remy's hands shaking violently. Immediately the younger doctor pushed her hands into her lab coat as deep as possible. She looked up to see the blonde looking back at her and began to run past Allison. The older woman realized what Remy was doing and catched her arm when she saw her running past her.

"Rem! Don't run from me."

"Stop it, Allison. You've done enough as it is, this is not your problem. Just leave me alone," she said, without any emotion in her voice, not even looking at the blonde woman that held onto her arm. Slowly Cameron loosened her grip and let go of the girl she loved.

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**That's it for now. I hope you enjoyed it. Just leave a review and tell me if you still like my story. Reviews keep me writing. It's good to know if you like what you read.**


	9. The most difficult of all our tasks

**As is said, this will be the last chapter with a flashback from Cameron, next chapter will be completely from Remy's point of view. Actually second half of that chapter is already Remy's pov.**

**So let's go on, chapter 9 is ready for you!**

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_When did things get so extremely out of hand? And how? This is just not how it was supposed to be._

Cameron sat in her office, thoughts of her earlier encounter with Remy running through her mind.

_She won't even talk to me. How can I possibly get her to listen to me without walking away._

Remy's words were like knifes in Allison's heart. She had disappointed her a lot. She made her feel like she wasn't worth taking the risk. She was. But Cameron was just happy the way they were and somewhere in her messed up brain she thought that things could always be like that. It was stupid but she was afraid to lose that happiness. To lose what they had created for themselves.

_Stop it, Allison. You've done enough as it is, this is not your problem. Just leave me alone._

Yeah, she knew how much she hurt the brunette but she wanted to explain, she wanted to tell her that everything will change from now on, that she can do that. That she will kiss her whereever she wanted to kiss her and hold hands with her no matter where they were. That she will show everyone how lucky she is to have her. Good plan… There were just a few problems. She didn't have her anymore _and_ the brunette didn't want to talk to her or even listen. _Great, just fucking great._

So if Remy wouldn't talk to her, she had to make her "listen" differently. She could write her a letter but what's the point in writing it? Everyone could write down some stupid words but meaning it is way harder. She had to do something that would show her that she still cared and that she was willing to change. Suddenly having something in mind, she searched her desk for a beautiful piece of paper and began to write in a girlish handwriting. She remembered when she found those words herself in Remy's handwriting.

_When she came home from work she was exhausted. She opened the door to her appartment, ready to fall onto her bed and sleep for days. Opening the door fully she was surprised that it wasn't all dark. There were candles that lit the room slightly._

_She walked to the first candle immediately, too curious to even stop and take off her coat and shoes. There was a sheet of paper that read "go to the next candle", so she went to the next one, getting more curious every second. When she came to the second one she saw another sheet of paper and read it. Smiling warmly she thought about what to do next._

_She went to her living room and what she saw there made her gasp. There was Remy sitting at her table, a fully set table, with a red rose and another candle on it. The brunette smiled at her and stood up, stepping into her personal space. She took off the blonde's coat and brought it to the wardrobe. Returning, she stood in front of the blonde, a smile still plastered on her face like it could never be vanished._

"_Rem, this is…" she trailed off._

_The younger doctor just stood there and looked her deep in the eyes, her own eyes sparkling and expressing a smile their own._

"_This is wonderful," Allison was finally able to verbalize._

"_No," Remy told her. "You are wonderful, Ally!"_

A single tear made it's way down Allison's cheek as she remembered that day.

_Yeah, maybe this will make her listen._

She stood up, grabbed her coat and her purse and left her office, the piece of paper in hand. She walked to a nearby flower shop and bought a single red rose. She went to the women's locker room, opening Remy's locker, knowing her combination by heart. They never hid anything from each other. So she placed the sheet in her locker and the rose on top of it hoping that maybe the brunette would talk to her after that.

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When Remy left that evening she was beyond exhausted. She wanted nothing more than to just go home and sleep. She went to her locker to change coats and get her purse. When she opened it she was surprised.

When she saw the rose she knew exactly who it was from. Only one person new the combination of her locker. She took it out to smell it. Did Allison really think a simple rose could make everything okay again? Then she found the piece of paper and took it out.

"_To love is good; love being difficult. For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation. For this reason you cannot know love in the beginning; you have to learn it . . ."_

Rilke, what a way to crawl back into her heart. What did she still want from her? She made her point pretty clear. And she knew Allison wouldn't change for her. She knew. At least she thought she knew. Six months. She had the time to change. All the time. Remy was patient with her, very patient.

_God Ally, what do you want from me?_

Remy remembered the evening when she wrote this on a sheet of paper and placed it next to a candle. She could almost feel again how nervous she was while she waited for her in her appartment.

_When she heard the door click she felt her heart beating so fast that she was afraid it might jump out of her chest. She waited patiently, not saying a word or making a move until the blonde walked into the living room._

_Smiling at her she stood up and took the coat from her, bringing it to the wardrobe. She saw how speechless her girlfriend was. She stepped back into her personal space and looked into her eyes. God, she could get lost in those beautigul green eyes._

"_Rem, this is…" the blonde trailed off._

_Remy kept looking at her, smiling as if there was no tomorrow._

"_This is wonderful," Allison was finally able to verbalize._

_"No," Remy told her. "You are wonderful, Ally!"_

_She kissed her softly, lingering on her lips for a few seconds and then stepped back, walking to the table and held out the blonde's chair, as she had done at their first real date at their bar. She went to the kitchen to get the food and came back with it, placing it in front of Allison and her own chair._

_Suddenly Allison noticed the music in the background. Their song was playing quietly in the background._

_"Did I forget some kind of anniversary? God, I'm sorry. I just had so much stress and-"_

_She cut her off immediately, not wanting her to continue._

_"No, of course not. Do I need a reason for this? I just wanted to do something nice," she told her._

_"Wow, what have I done to deserve this?"_

_"Everything and nothing. You're just…you. You put up with my shit and you're there for me no matter what and I know that I can count on you. It's just… well, I think my way to say thank you. For everything," she finally ended her rambling._

_"You're welcome," she said smiling at her._

_They ate in comfortable silence, occasionally glancing at each other. Remy couldn't stop smiling the whole time. Seeing her girlfriend happy was the best thing she could imagine._

_As they finished eating, Remy stood up and took the plates to the kitchen. She had just placed them into the sink, when she felt Allison wrap her arms around her and caressing her stomach. She placed soft kisses on the back of her neck and Remy thought she might go crazy as she felt the blonde's breath on her neck. She lifted her hands to rest them on the blonde's, drowning in the feel of her girlfriend pressed against her._

_God, if she only knew what she's doing to me. And then it happened. She said those three words that the brunette was terrified to hear because she never said them to someone that_ _wasn't her dad or her mum._

_"I love you," the blonde whispered into her left ear, kissing it lightly. Remy's breath got caught in her throat. She panicked, not able to answer in an appropriate way._

_"I-I think…I should…well, the dishes aren't going to wash themselves, you know?" Jesus, I'm so stupid, why can't I just say it back? I do love her, I know that. Why can't I tell her? Remy, you're such a fucking coward._

_"I think that can wait," Allison said, not really getting the inner struggle her girlfriend was going through. She continued kissing the brunette's neck and felt her relax a little._

_Remy didn't know what to do. She turned around and looked at her girlfriend, opening her mouth, trying to say those words. She didn't want to hurt her just because she was an emotional cripple._

_"Allison, I-"_

_"Shh, I can wait. But there is something that I can't wait for any longer," she said leaning forward, kissing her passionately. Soon Remy loosened up and kissed her back. When she felt the blonde pulling up her shirt, she pulled away from their kiss to help her, copying her girlfriend's actions, stripping her from her shirt as well._

_As soon as possible they were kissing each other again. As the blonde began kissing her way down her jaw and sucking down her neck, Remy let out a loud moan._

_"Ally," she said, her voice almost cracking and full of lust and desire._

_"Mh," the blonde mumbled against her neck, cupping one of the brunette's breasts with her hand, caressing it softly, causing another moan out of Remy._

_"Bedroom," she got out, almost breathless by now._

_Withouth another word Allison took her hand and guided her to her bedroom. As soon as they were in, Remy pulled her to her and kissed her again. The blonde felt as if her legs might die away every second, so she pulled the brunette with her and let herself fall onto the bed. Remy hovered over her and waited for a moment, just looking at her._

_"Are you sure?" she asked her_

_"Yes, I am," the blonde answered, pulling the brunette down again to lock their lips in a fierce kiss._

_That night the brunette made love to her girlfriend for the first time. Well, actually it was the first time she ever made love to anyone. This wasn't just sex. It was gentle and soft but at the same time it was mindblowing and the best thing she had ever experienced._

_When they lay there, intagled in each other, fitting perfectly, she felt a single tear role down her cheek. As Allison noticed this she lifted her head from her girlfriend's chest and opened her mouth to say something but Remy beat her to it._

_"I love you too, Allison," she said, smiling at her lovingly._

Remy stood in the middle of the room, tears running down her face, steadying herself with her left hand on the locker next to hers, the sheet in her other hand. How could the blonde do that to her. What was she trying to proof?

"Well, that was definitely not the reaction I was hoping for."

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**Turned out very different from what I had planned, but I definitely like it better that way. **

**Maybe some of you might notice that I used the cancle thing from another movie. Try and guess =) Just saw the movie recently and I loved that scene A LOT!**


	10. I can't

**Oh my god, no one knows the movie? "Down to you"? With F. Prince Jr. and Julia Stiles? Okay, now I know officially, I'm a freak or at least not normal, I know way to many movies. Okay I go to cinema once a week so that's abnormal, too. *sigh***

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"Well, that was definitely not the reaction, I was hoping for," she heard a voice from the door to the locker room.

Startled she turned around staring at her ex girlfriend, who was now leaning at a locker a few meters away from her.

"What do you want from me, Allison?"

"I want you," the blonde said, never taking her glance away from the brunette's eyes.

"I can't. I can't do this," Remy told her, her voice only a little over a whisper.

"Well you could do it the last six months," the blonde challenged her. "What changed?"

"Everything Allison, everything changed but you didn't and you won't."

"You think I would be here, if I wasn't willing to change?"

Remy looked at her, surprised and her heart made a jump. Her eyes shining and showing her inner happiness about Allison's words. She never thought about the possibility that she would really change. But just as she was about to smile at her, letting her know that they would somehow make this work, she felt her hand trembling, the paper falling from her hands in the process.

She looked down, her eyes full of fear, her whole body paralyzed. The only part of her body that was moving was her right hand.

Realizing her other reasons to end this relationship, she pushed her hand into the pockets of her jeans as deep as possible and looked at Allison, her face hardened.

"Like I already said, I can't," Remy said, looking down at the ground."_Happiness serves hardly any other purpose than to make unhappiness_ _possible..._ Damn right…"

"God, stop quoting, that doesn't help right now."

"It doesn't? Well, then what's this?" Remy picked up the sheet that had fallen to the ground earlier and waved it at her, arching an eyebrow at Allison.

"I thought it would make you listen to me. Look, just give me the chance to say a few things. After that you can still say no."

"It doesn't matter what you say," the brunette said in a monotone voice, again lowering her head, not looking at her former girlfriend. "It won't change anything."

"You can't even look at me while you say those things. You don't mean it, I know you don't. Why are you doing this?"

"Because this just won't work, Allison. There are enough reasons. We don't have a future, you know that," the brunette said slowly. "I should go now."

The blonde's eyes were watering as the brunette still didn't look at her and moved to leave. Leave the room, leave her, leave her life. And then she understood. "Oh my god."

As Remy walked past her, she turned around and grabbed her wrist. "This is not about me anymore? This is about you. You're running away from this, from us, from me and from your disease."

"Don't you dare make this about me. You had me, you had all of me but only in our little self created world. I wasn't enough to be in your real life and I will never be."

"I never had all of you. I had Thirteen and I had Dr. Hadley but I never had Remy."

"You can't be serious. I confessed my love to you. I held you all night. We talked for hours and hours. I told you everything about me."

"What if I can name you at least two situations in which you lied to me?"

Remy just looked at her challenging, not answering verbally.

"The day you broke up with me. In the locker room I asked you if everything was okay and you told me it was. LIE! And well you actually lied twice to me in the lab when I caught you testing yourself." She was lucky that she remembered every little moment of the last six months.

"Those were just lies to protect you, not to hide something from you," Remy tried to defend herself.

"Well, yeah the ones in the lab maybe but when you lied to me in the locker room it wasn't to protect me. You wanted to hide something from me and it took me long enough to get what it is. You had your first tremor that day, haven't you? The way you were staring off into space, just like when I found you in the lab. Exactly the same. You didn't tell me because you wanted to protect yourself. You didn't want it to be real and telling me you had your first symptom would have made it real."

Remy was speechless. She was caught. She never wanted Allison to know those things. But with one thing she was at least partly wrong. The symptom did not only make her realize that it already started. It made her realize how much more there is to come and that she didn't want Allison to live through that. And so the situation in the lobby was perfect. She knew Cameron would react like that and that gave her a reason for what needed to be done. It was better that way.

"Even that doesn't matter, Ally. We're done. For good!" Remy was about to pull her arm away from the blonde, when she felt the hand around her wrist tighten. She looked up to see tears all over her former girlfriend's face.

"Wait. Just one more thing. At least look me in the eyes while you say it," the blonde choked out. When the brunette looked up she loosened her grip, but she did not let go. She let her fingers trail down to her hand and softly caressed the younger woman's knuckles.

Remy gulped. She could be rude and lie easily but looking into people's eyes while doing so is definitely not her area of expertise.

When she felt the blonde's fingers travel to her hand her breath caught in her throat. That would be the last time she would ever be this near to her. She took one last breath, taking in the feel of her touch, the way she smelled, the way her hair fell over her shoulders, her mesmerizing green eyes and the form of her lips. The lips that she would never be able to kiss again.

"It's over," she finally said, pulling away her arm and turning around to leave the room, hearing the loud sobs from behind the door as she was about to close it. She hesitated once more before finally shutting the door and leaving the hospital.

As soon as Remy was out of the hospital she began to run. She felt like she needed to, so she ran to the parking lot, jumped into her car and drove off with screaming tires. She had to get away as fast as possible. Her ears were deaf; she did not even hear the people honking at her. She did not even know where she was headed to until she parked her car and walked to the front door of the old house. There was a big fence marking off the garden from the side walk in front of the little house. It was simple, really, painted white, brown window frames and a brown wooden door. The grass hadn't been mowed for weeks.

When Remy stood in front of the wooden door, she hesitated but finally rang the bell. When the door did not open for a while, she sighed and turned around.

Just as she was about to walk away again, the door opened. She turned around again and saw a surprised expression on the face that was looking back at her.

"Remy?"

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**So that's it. I'm not really happy about this chapter and I also did not have the time to reread it. Any mistakes? Just tell me. It's shorter this time. **

**The quote Remy uses is from Marcel Proust.**

**Please leave a review if you liked it which I hope you did.**


	11. That's all that matters!

**So here it is. It's past 5 a.m. and I just picked up a friend of mine from a club. So I thought I might as well finish this and post it now.  
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"Remy?"

"Yes Dad, it's me," the brunette sighed.

Victor Hadley was shocked to say the least. For a few seconds they just stood there and stared at one another, taking in each other's appearance.

"Oh, just come here already," he said opening his arms to suggest a hug.

Hesitantly Remy stepped foreward but as soon as she was in her father's arms it all came down to her. She fell into the warmth and wrapped her arms around the tall man, resting her head on his chest.

Six years. She hadn't seen him for six years but still she felt better than she had for the last days just because she was in his arms where she felt protected and taken care of. She felt tears welling up in her eyes and fought hard to hold them back but eventually they fell and soon after that she was sobbing her heart out at her father's chest, his tight arms still around her, shielding her from the rest of the world.

"Come on kiddo, let's get you inside," he said, fondling her hair in a loving way.

She slowly left his embrace and was surprised to find his arm still around her shoulders guiding her inside. They went to the living room, settling down on the couch and he still held her in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder.

They sat there the whole night, cuddled up in each other, not saying a word, just enjoying the presence of the other one after such a long time. Remy felt as if a big weight was taken off of her, even if her father did not say anything at all. Just being there for her, without even knowing why, was the best thing he could have done.

They had somehow fallen asleep on the couch. As Remy woke up she found herself on the couch with a blanket thrown over her and a pillow under her head. She smiled at the thoughtfulness of her dad. He was still the same.

She called in ill the for that day and also for the day after. Her father made breakfest for the both of them and as Remy walked into the kitchen she found herself smiling again.

"Good morning," she said sleepily.

"Good morning, kiddo," her father answered, smiling back at her.

They sat in comfortable silence throughout breakfast.

"Thanks dad," Remy said eventually well aware of the fact that she couldn't sit there forever without telling him what was going on.

"You know that I'm always there for you," he said looking at his only daughter.

Yes, he was always there. It was true. He was there after her mom died even if he was having a hard time himself and she never thanked him for any of it. As soon as she finished high school she left him, inwardly sure of the torture she was for him. She looked exactly like her mother and Remy knew that everytime he looked at her, he saw Tara Hadley and not Remy. So she left for college and only once went to see him since back then. She knew he would have been there for her no matter what. That was something she was sure of. That's what brought her there in the first place. Something in her must have known and was sure that this was the best place for her to be right now.

"Everything is so damn fucked up, Dad. I don't even know how it got that far."

"Just tell me about it. Best would be to start at the very beginning, maybe then I am able to help you. Sounds good?"

Then it hit her. He didn't know yet. She hadn't told him, she tested herself. Well he would have to know sooner or later. He has the right to know, to hear it from her and not from some hospital in a few years.

"I started seeing someone a few months ago. Well at the beginning it was just some flirting at work. She works in the ER and she is hands down beautiful."

She stopped for a moment to wait for some reaction but he just looked at her as to say "go on". That was something good, he never had a problem with her bisexuality. He was okay with it.

"I was about to ask her out but thought better of it and instead… I tested myself. I wanted to know before I would ask her. I…I tested positive, Dad."

She stopped again, noticing the hurt expression on her father's face. The knowledge that he outlived not just his wife, but would also watch his own daughter die, stroke him. He was not just at a loss of words. He couldn't move. A single tear ran down his cheek.

"Look, it's okay. I'm okay with it. I wasn't at the beginning but now I am. It will be okay." It killed her to put him through that again but it wouldn't be any fair not to tell him.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, go on," he said, trying to focus again.

"She found me in the lab after I tested myself and I just left. I ignored her for days but she wouldn't back off and asked me out and so I went out with her and we kissed. It was the best thing I had felt for such a damn long time. I went to do the test again, hoping that it was some stupid mistake, but it wasn't. As she found me again I was kind of outed anyway. At night I told her before she left the hospital and she was okay with it. She talked me into giving her a chance and I did. Everything was okay for six months but she wouldn't make it official. We were in the closet the whole time and I couldn't stand it anymore. I don't have forever and I want to show the whole world how much I love her. Two weeks ago I had my first tremor. I waited for her at the locker room and as we went home we fought in the lobby and I broke up with her. Today she told me she was ready and she wanted another chance but… I just couldn't. I mean do I really want her to suffer through all of this? I mean… really?"

As she was at the end of her little story her dad looked at her slightly confused.

"Do you love her?"

"Yes, I said that already," she said, a little bit annoyed, thinking that he didn't really listen to her.

"Does she love you?"

"She…That's beside the point, don't you get it?"

"Can you please just answer my question, Remy?"

"Yes," she said, her head hanging down, watching her hands in her lap. "But that doesn't matter."

"It's all that matters," he said, smiling at her. "You can't make that decision for her. If she is willing to go through that, then let her. She's a doctor, she knows what it means."

"Her husband died of cancer," Remy said, trying to make her point clearer. "She already went through this, I don't want her to go through it again. This is even worse."

"I went through it for your mother and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I would do it all over again. She's a grown up, she knows what she does. Just let her prove it to you. Don't run away, kiddo. This disease doesn't mean that you aren't allowed to love and live your life."

Remy was speechless. Somehow her dad always found the right words. She loved Allison, with all her heart. And she knew Allison loved her too, that was all that mattered.

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**I hope you liked this. Please review, I love your reviews =)  
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	12. I missed you

**Won't be able to write a lot throughout the next weeks. I'm visiting my parents and old friends, then a friend and my family come to visit me over christmas and for New Year I'm going to Austria. New Year with snow =) So, I hope you at least like that chapter. I do actually =) Enjoy!**

**And yeah Suspenderlove you were right, that was definitely from "Imagine me and you". I loved that movie and that was actually my favorite scene in it apart from the one in the back of Luce's shop, that was hilarious :D  
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Remy spent the rest of the day at her father's. She took the day off anyway, so why not use it?

Victor went to the park with her in their old neighbourhood. They walked in a comfortable silence, Remy's arm linked with her father's, a huge smile plastered on her face. She was going to talk to Allison the next day. Today all that matteres was having a wonderful day with her dad and enjoying every minute of his company. God, she had missed him so much.

"Remy?" Victor asked quietly, careful not to startle his daughter.

"Yes dad," the brunette answered surprised that he broke the silence.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Remy didn't quite know what he was talking about.

"I...I was going to wait until Ally was ready to meet you. Telling you about her and then not introducing the two of you would have been kind of rude. I'm sorry. As soon as everything's okay again, you will definitely get to know her. I promise."

"I was not talking about your relationship. But I really want to meet her. She must be special if you love her that much."

"Yeah, she really is," Remy said, looking at nothing in particular, her eyes shining, while she day dreamed of the beauty that was Allison Cameron.

That's when she realized she still didn't know what he was talking about earlier.

"Sorry, so what were you really refering to?"

"I was talking about your Huntington's," he said, almost in a whisper.

She stopped in her tracks and stared at him, her mouth slightly hanging open, shocked about his question and not quite sure how to answer him in an appropriate way.

"You knew for over six months," he continued, "and didn't think it would be neccessary to tell me about it? I would have been there for you!"

"Dad, I-"

"All these years I wondered if you were okay and if you would ever come to see me again. I wondered if you ever tested yourself. I wondered if my daughter would be dying without me even knowing it. God, I didn't even know where you were! How could you do that to me?" Victor sounded desperate, but really could you blame him? As his daughter came to him the day before he just wanted to be there for her and for that didn't say a word about it, but now he just had to spit out what had bothered him the last six years.

"Dad, I was going to tell you. Just not yet. I just didn't want to hurt you," she said, her eyes pleading with him to understand her. "I didn't know how you would react and that's why I was afraid to tell you."

"I had the right to know!"

"Like I already said, I would have told you...sooner or later," she said, looking at the ground.

"Why did you leave me?" he asked, changing the subject, still looking desperatly at his daughter, begging for answers to the questions that tortured him through the last years.

"I went to college dad," she answered as if to state the obvious. She still hoped he would just drop this conversation and have a nice day with her after all these years. But somewhere in herself she understood that he had to ask those questions.

"I'm not a fool, Remy. You only visited me ONCE in all those years since you left for college. That was six years ago, six years! You broke my heart. You were everything to me."

"You saw someone in me that I wasn't," she mumbled mostly to herself, tears welling up in her eyes that she desperatly tried to stop from falling.

"What? I saw my lovely daughter who was all I had."

"No," she almost yelled at him. "You saw her, and that's not what I was. I'm not like her dad and I will never be. I'm not Mom. Everytime you looked at me, you saw her and I couldn't stand it. It was like I didn't even exist. When you smiled at me, it was because you imagined she was still there and when you were sad you knew that I'm not what you wanted me to be. I saw how it tore you apart. And seeing you like that tore me apart." By now Remy was crying, tears running freely down her face.

"Honey, that's not what it was like at all. I loved you with all my heart," he said stepping nearer to his daughter, putting his index finger under her chin to lift her head so that she was looking at him again.

"Sure, it wasn't," she said looking past him. "It doesn't even matter anymore, it's in the past. Can we just not talk about this right now?"

"We are talking about this now, who knows when your next visit will be," he scoffed. "Remy when I looked at you I saw my wonderful daughter and not Tara. When I smiled at you then it was because I was lucky to have such a beautiful daughter at my side," he started. Finally Remy looked at him surprised about what he just told her. "When I was sad," he continued, " then it was because I knew that you had to grow up without a mother. There where just things that I couldn't offer you. And I was also terrified since I knew that you had a 50% chance of having the disease, too," he explained to her, never taking his eyes away from her. "I was afraid of losing you, too."

Tears were still rolling down Remy's cheeks and when he opened her arms to her, she accepted the hug without hesitating a second. She cried silently with her head on his chest.

"I missed you dad," she said, her voice almost cracking.

"I missed you too kiddo," he answered in a calming voice.

Two minutes later they ended the embrace but Victor still had his arm around his daughter's shoulders and her arm was still around his waist as they continued their promenade through the park.

"So, tell me more about Allison. What is she like? I think I don't have to ask about the looks, I'm sure she's beautiful," he said, smirking at her when she poked him in his side.

"She is beautiful, she is a blonde, well not naturally but right now she is," she said smiling at him. "And her eyes, god her eyes. Emerald-green. I could get lost in them forever..."

They continued their walk, Remy telling him all about Allison and their relationship. About the wonderful world they had created together and the more she told him about it the more sure she was about talking to her the next day and getting her back.

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**So that's it, I hope you enjoyed yourself while reading this. I'm trying to update as soon as possible, but I don't think it will be earlier than next monday. **

**But their are definitely some surprises for you in the next chapter =)  
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	13. It's not what it looks like

**I'm sorry that it took me so long but after I was with my parents until sunday, I slept at a friends for two nights. So I just came home a few hours ago from university. But here it is. Chapter 13!**

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When Remy woke up the next day she felt pretty good. She felt as if everything was going to be okay. She turned and when her eyes fell on the clock on the night stand next to her, they went wide.

"Fuck!"

She was late for work. She couldn't be late. House would mock her all morning, oh screw that, he would mock her the whole day. She dressed and tried to make herself nice to look at in record time.

"Bye dad," she called as she walked past Victor in a rush and pecked him on the cheek.

"Bye kiddo," he said a bit confused. "Don't wait too long to visit again."

"I won't, I promise. I left my card in the guest room. Private cell and home number is on the back of it. Just call me."

With that she left and climbed into her car. She drove to the hospital as fast as possible and jumped out of her car as soon as it was in the parking lot. When she entered the lobby she saw Dr. Cuddy walking over and mumbled a silent "Shit!".

"Dr. Cuddy, good morning," she gretted her faking a smile.

"Good morning, Dr. Hadley. You're late. After calling in sick for two days."

"I'm sorry Dr. Cuddy. Look, I was really not able to work the last two days."

"And now you are? Why are you late? Which bar were you at?"

"Yes, now I am. I'm late because I was not at home and therefore had no alarm in the morning. And I was not at some bar. I was with my dad since the day before yesterday. Was that all, Dr. Cuddy?"

"Don't forget who you're talking to Dr. Hadley. But I'm satisfied…for now. And for god's sake: Talk to Cameron! Otherwise I will go crazy."

"I will, Dr. Cuddy. I will!"

* * *

Cameron was talking to one of her nurses when she saw her walking in and talking to Cuddy.

_God, how can she possibly look so good in the morning? How can she possibly look so good at all? Like it doesn't even bother at all. Maybe she just never really loved me._

She saw her walking to the elevator and before she could look away, their eyes met. Remy stopped in front of the elevator, pressing the button, not taking her eyes off of the blonde. Cameron noticed the meaningful look on her face and the half smile that was thrown at her. She thought she couldn't return it but her lips worked on their own.

Just as the blonde was about to walk over to her, the elevator doors in front of Hadley opened and after one last glance the brunette stepped into it and let the doors close behind her.

* * *

The brunette walked through the halls and stormed into the diagnostics office.

"Where were you the last two days?"

"Not at work," she answered House's question, smirking at him.

"You're late," he continued.

"Yes. Do we state the obvious now? You're an ass," she said grinning at him.

"How old was she?"

"22, red hair, the body of a model and I fucked her senseless all night," she said bluntly.

"Very funny Thirteen. I think I have to tell-"

"Cuddy already knows. I met her in the lobby. But go ahead. Harass her because then you at least won't harass me anymore," she cut him off.

"What is up with you today? Someone seems to be in a good mood. How come?"

"Well, I just missed you House and now I'm happy to see you again. So, do we have a case?"

"No," Kutner answered because House was occupied with examining Thirteen's every move. He just couldn't figure out why she was in such a good mood.

"Great, I'm going to help out in the ER then. See you later guys," she said and was out of the door in no time.

"What the hell was that?" Kutner was stunned.

Taub had a funny smirk on his face and Foreman just sat there, not impressed at all. His face showed no motion. But well, it's Foreman, he is a robot.

"Taub, Kutner, go to the clinic. Foreman…do whatever it is that you do."

With that House left the room and walked to the elevator.

* * *

As Remy walked to the ER she had a goofy smile on her face. Everything would be alright, she just knew it. She loved Allison and her father was right, it's all that matters.

_We will make a brand new start  
From the pieces of our hearts  
The break of day is before us_

_Cast your sorrows to the wind  
Let the highway take us in  
As we escape the disorder*_

She walked out of the elevator and straight to the ER doors. When she entered the department and Cameron was nowhere in sight, she went over to one of the nurses, who told her that Cameron just went to the cafeteria to have lunch.

_Great, lunch with her. That's just pefect. That will give me time to explain myself to her._

As she arrived at the cafeteria and looked around for the blonde, her eyes stopped at one table. The table which was occupied by Allison, but not only by Allison. Chase was with her. Of all people, she was having lunch with Chase. She stood still for a moment, not moving an inch, just looking at the two of them. Her hands came to a fist when Chase took Allison's hand in his. How could he? When Chase looked at her, she still didn't move. She just kept staring, well more glaring at them. Suddenly Cameron turned around to look at her and when they locked eyes Remy's heart felt as if it might stop beating. She realized that her eyes were starting to build tears and turned around, walking out of the cafeteria immediately.

She ran, just ran all the way, coming across House who just looked at her surprised. Before he could even get out one word she barked at him, while running past him. "Shut up, House. Just don't say a thing."

Finally she wondered where she was even running to. She looked around an found the stairs to the roof top beside her. She went through the door and began climbing up.

_Like every tree stands on its own  
Reaching for the sky I stand alone.  
I share my world with no one else.  
All by myself I stand alone.**_

When she arrived the roof top she was out of puff. She leant down with her hands on her knees and took some deep breaths. As she calmed down a little she took a few steps forward, looking over the city from up there. She just stood there, watching the chaos down in the streets when she heard the door behind her open. She knew exactly who it was so she didn't feel the need to turn around.

"Leave me alone," she said defeated.

"It's not what it looked like Remy," she said in a pleading voice.

_I've seen your world with these very eyes  
Don't come any closer, don't even try  
I've felt all the pain and heard all the lies  
But in my world there's no compromise**_

"It should be. It's better that way. I'm okay with it. You're better off with him." Remy still had her eyes all over the city.

"I don't want him. I want you."

"Well then why did you run back to him after I was away for just two days?" The brunette turned around, glaring at her former girlfriend.

"We're friends, he was just being nice," she said trying to explain herself.

"I'm sure he's a pretty good friend."

"Well, what did _you_ do these last two days? Was it just the 22 year old girl with red hair or were there even more?"

"God, you really believed what House told you? I just mocked him so he wouldn't try to find out where I really was."

"And where were you? At a strip club, at a bar drinking yourself senseless? Come on, am I close?" Cameron got angry, really angry. How could Remy accuse her for searching someone to hold on to. How could she blame her for that?

"You have no idea where I was the last two days so stop accusing me. You have no right to do so."

"Well, then tell me," the blonde said, crossing her arms in front of her chest, looking at Hadley challenging.

"I was at my dad's. I figured he might want to know that his daughter is dying of the same disease as his wife did after not seeing me for 6 years."

Allison was outraged. _She was at her father's?_

"Yeah, I thought your answer would be something like that," she said, walking past the blonde and back into PPTH.

As she ambulated through the lobby about to leave, she saw House hobbling over to her.

"Well, well, where did that good mood from the morning go to?"

"Shut the fuck up House!"

"Who allows you to talk to your boss like that. I could fire you," House said in a mock tone.

"You don't have to. I quit!" And without another word she walked past him, leaving PPTH.

* * *

_"I quit!" _

Cameron heard her words all over again in her head as she stood at the same place from which she watched the brunette walk out about 5 minutes ago.

* * *

***Alter Bridge - Brand New Start**

**** Steve Perry - I Stand Alone  
**

**So, that's it for now. I hope you liked it. I love your reviews so I would be really happy if you would leave me one =)**


	14. When the lights go down

**Oh my gosh, I'm really sorry that it took me so long but my friend just left today and my parents are here so there's lots of work to do AND in Germany we have presents on the 24****th**** so shopping and wrapping up presents and so on. And I don't have holidays yet. Tomorrow last day in university. Finally! So I just hope I can make it up to you with that one. DRAMA baby =)**

**

* * *

**

Remy tried to move, tried to start her car but found that she couldn't. Had she really just given up her job? This just can't be. What would she do now?

She was breathless, as if she ran a marathon or ran for her life. She laid her hands on her knees and tried to take deep breaths, hoping that it would calm her. Every breath hurt like shit. God why did she always leave her inhalator at home. Well okay normally she didn't need it at work but she needed it now. She tried to mentally tell herself how to breathe.

_In…and out…in…and out. Come on Remy you can do this._

Slowly calming down she looked into her rear-view mirrow. What she saw there shocked her to say the least. She felt a shiver running down her spine. Was that really her reflection? Was she that person in the mirror staring back at her?

She saw what people saw. Her cover. The walls that she had built up. But her appeareance didn't show what's going on inside of her. Except from the deep red cheeks she looked perfectly normal. Too normal.

_It's obvious that you're dying, dying  
Just living proof that the camera's lying*_

Yeah, people knew she would die at some point in the next 10 years. But they only saw her Huntington's killing her. They didn't see what was burning her inside out, the reason for her inner death.

Suddenly she was shaken out of her thoughts by a vigorous knock on her window.

"Remy, are you okay?"

She looked at her intruder and when she saw the blonde standing next to her car she pressed the button to lock her car, again breathing faster.

"Come on Remy, you can't be serious. Just open the door and talk to me," she heard the damped voice through the windows of her vehicle.

She didn't answer and after a few seconds she took her glance away from her former girlfriend. She took the steering wheel in her shaking hands and stared out of the windshield.

_Don't look up just let them think  
There's no place else you'd rather be in now  
You can't turn back  
Because this road is all you'll ever have*_

"Remy please, we need to talk," she heard the voice continue.

She couldn't. She had to get away. She needed a way out. Fast. She let her right hand move to the key in the ignition. Her shaking hand turned the key around and started the car, never turning her head to look at Allison.

Just as she was about to drive out of the parking space she saw Allison standing behind her car. She cursed inwardly and rolled down her window to scream at her former lover.

"Get out of the way!"

"No, we need to talk, Remy!"

"Move or I swear I will make you move! Don't let me tell you twice!"

Allison was shocked. Would the brunette really hurt her? Did she hate her that much?

"Cameron! Move…NOW!"

Allison almost felt the brunette's anger herself. She realized that tears were running down her cheek. Slowly she moved to the side and watched as the younger doctor drove off with screaming tires.

But when the brunette drove by were that tears what she saw in Remy's face? Did she really mean those things? And if not, why would she act that way?

Cameron wasn't sure what she felt. Was it dissappointment? Was it anger? Was it concern? Did she feel anything at all?

After Remy left Cameron didn't know what to do, so she went back to the ER to work of her desperation. 3 hours later she was about to go when the doors to the ER opened one more time and another patient was brought in.

"Car accident. 29 year old woman…"

The rest was tuned out by Cameron when she saw the brunette being brought in. She ran over to her and held on to her hand while they brought her to a room.

"Ally?" It was only a whisper and Remy's eyes were barely open but Allison still noticed it.

"Yes baby, I'm here everything's okay," she said, trying to soothe her but mostly herself.

"Al, I … I'm sorry. I want you to know…" After that the brunette's eyes closed again, her head falling to the side.

"Remy, no… no you can't do this to me. Please."

_When the lights go down  
And there's nothing left to be  
When the lights go down  
And the truth is all you see**_

"No pulse," a doctor next to her said.

Allison's vision went blur. Tears running down her cheek uncontrolably. She felt as if she couldn't move. The hand she held felt lifeless.

"Cameron you have to move. Get away from the table," a doctor called at her. She stepped back a little, finally letting go Remy's hand.

"Clear!" The brunette's upper body jumped in the air and fell back onto the hospital bed.

Beeeeeeep.

"Clear!" Again her body rose and fell.

Beeeeeeep.

_When you feel that hole  
Inside your soul  
Wonder what you're made of  
Well we all find out  
When the lights go down**_

* * *

***Paramore – Fences**

****Faith Hill – When the lights go down**

**I know it's a bit short but it's so damn late and I have to stand up in 6 hours and I'm so exhausted right now. Still I hope you liked that chapter and maybe now people can forgive Cameron because in important moments she doesn't care about being out anymore! Love does the trick!**


	15. This might not end well

**Thanks for all your reviews and of course this is NOT the end. I'd never do that to you, would I? =) Here we go.**

**

* * *

**

Beeeeeeep.

Cameron stood next to the doctors, crying desperatly, the line on the monitor in sight.

Beeeeeeep.

"Dr. Cameron, you have to leave the room," a doctor told her, but she didn't move an inch.

The doctor nodded at two nurses that walked over to Cameron and each one took one of her arms.

"Don't you dare!"

"Cameron you can't be here. It disturbs us."

"Dr. Green, just do your job. I'm your boss, not the other way round," she told the older doctor.

"That's exactly what I'm doing here. You would have done the same thing if it was someone else," he said looking at her. Then he turned his look to the nurses. "Bring her out of here," he told them.

They shoved a struggling Cameron out of the room and closed the door behind her.

Allison sank down the wall on the opposite side of the floor, staring at the door, rocking back and forth like a little child, holding her knees to her chest.

"I can't leave her alone. I can't leave her alone. I…," she repeated again and again mumbling.

Suddenly she felt a comforting hand on her shoulder and stopped mumbling. When she looked up, she saw Cuddy standing next to her.

"I just heard it. I'm sorry," she said in a calm voice. "But it'll be okay. Remy is strong, she's a fighter. Just have a little faith."

"I can't leave her alone," Cameron said again.

"You don't have to. You can stay here. Kutner and Taub are helping out in the ER. We have it all covered."

"No, someone has to call him, but I can't leave her alone," she said, desperatly looking at Cuddy.

"Call who?"

"Her father, someone has to call her dad. He has to know."

Dr. Cuddy just looked down at the blonde woman sitting on the floor in disbelief but soon realized that she meant it.

"I'm going to look up his number and call him. Don't worry about it," she said in a reassuring voice. She laid her hand on her shoulder once more, full of concern, and then left for her office.

* * *

"Yeah?"

"Mr. Hadley?"

"Yes, on the phone," a male voice answered.

"Are you Dr. Remy Hadley's father?"

"Yes, I am. What's the matter with her? Is everything okay?" His voice changed from confusion to concern.

"I'm Dr. Lisa Cuddy, Dean of Medicine at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Your daughter had a car accident. Dr. Cameron asked me to call you."

There was silence at the other end of the line.

"Mr. Hadley?"

"Is she…is she okay?"

"I…We can't tell yet, Mr. Hadley," she told him honestly in a sad voice.

"I'm on my way," he said and the line went dead the next second.

* * *

When Cuddy went back to the ER she saw House standing in the hall, staring at the desperate figure rocking back and forth on the floor, waiting for some good news.

"How is she?"

"Which one?"

"Both," Cuddy answered sighing deeply.

"No news from Thirteen. And Cameron…well you have eyes. She sat there like this when I came here and keeps mumbling something I can't hear."

"Do you think she will get over it if-"

"Don't you dare end this sentence Cuddy. Everything will be okay. Tomorrow by that time she will lay in some bed in the hospital and will already be whining that she want's to go home."

"House, her condition is really bad. That's why they paged me. This might not end well."

"Thirteen has to be okay. Otherwise we will lose Cameron, too. I mean, just look at her."

"Cameron is a strong woman."

"Not when it comes to Thirteen, then she's not," House said sighing.

Suddenly they heard a man screaming in the ER.

"I want to know where my daughter is. RIGHT NOW!"

"Sir, we-"

"No more Sir, I have the right to know where she is."

"It's okay, I'll take him," Cuddy told the nurse.

"Mr. Victor Hadley?"

"Yes, where is she?"

"I'm Dr. Cuddy. Just follow me. You can't go in there though. You have to wait for them to finish."

As Cuddy walked back to the floor, where Remy's exam room was, she pointed at the room that Remy was in.

Victor's eyes filled with tears. He didn't even know how she was. What exactly happened. Why it happened. He couldn't lose her now. They just reunited. He just couldn't lose her. It's bad enough that she got her mother's disease, but he can't lose her even earlier. When he looked away from the room he saw Allison sitting on the floor, obviously in bad psychological shape.

Tears were running down her face and she was still rocking back and forth. There were no sobs. Just silent tears and a few words she seemed to mumble all over again, her lips moving only slightly.

"Who is _she_?" He asked, pointing at Cameron.

"That's Dr. Allison Cameron, head of the ER," Cuddy told him, watching his reaction. Did he know?

First Victor didn't get it. He was about to ask why the blonde wasn't in there, helping to save his daughter's life. But then he got it. Blonde hair, emerald-green eyes.

"That's _her_, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is."

* * *

**So I hope you liked this chapter. Since I don't think I'm going to be able to write tomorrow or even the day after tomorrow, I thought I'd at least give you an update. But now I definitely need my bed since I'm ill :( Great christmas... *sigh*  
**

**Merry Christmas to everyone and reviews are wonderful presents :)  
**


	16. The darkness that surrounds me

**God I'm so depressed right now (mostly because I'm still sick) and somehow I got an idea for this chapter. I hope you like it.**

* * *

When Remy drove out of the hospital's parking lot she desperatly tried to calm down her breathing. Her chest already hurt from the uncontrolled breaths she took. Her hands were still shaking violently. She didn't even know if it was because of a never ending tremor or because she was still kind of nervous from seeing her former girlfriend, if they were shaking from anger or if it was just because her feelings were overwhelming her.

She drove in direction of her father's, hoping to find comfort there when it began to rain as if the world was going to end anytime soon. Driving slower she tried to focus on the lonesome and all dark road when she suddenly saw a dog standing on the street. Remy kicked the breaks with all her force and closed her eyes as she realized her car was spinning and totally out of control.

Remy knew this couldn't end well, so she just kept her eyes shut still holding the breaks down and having her clenched fists around the steering-wheel, preteding to blend out the situation she was in. She opened them again when she heard a loud noise and noticed that her car just hit something. Something that was way stronger than her car. She looked over her opened airbag to see it was a tree.

Up until that point she didn't even realize the pain she was in. The shock was just kind of numbing at the beginning. Her chest was tight and breathing was even harder now than it was before. She also felt her head ache like shit and raised her right hand to check on it. Feeling a wet spot, she looked at her hand and saw lots of blood making its way down her fingers

After a while of checking which parts of her body were in pain she suddenly realized that her legs did not hurt a bit. Thinking about it, it finally hit her hard. It was not just that there was no pain. She couldn't feel her legs at all. Everything below her hip was death. Taking in this fact, a single tear ran down her cheeks.

She needed help and spottet her cell phone on the floor in front of the co driver's seat. It must have fallen down from the spinning or when the car hit the tree. She struggled to bend down and get it but it was useless. There was no way she could reach the phone. Someone had to find her.

As more and more minutes went by, Remy lost hope that someone would come and find her. She forced herself to stay awake, well aware of the fact that she most likely had a concussion. Closing her eyes sounded like heaven right now but she just couldn't, she had to keep them open somehow.

Her eyelids grew heavier every second and just as she thought she couldn't keep them open anymore, she saw a light coming nearer. She noticed a car parking directly next to her. Fighting to stay awake she wanted to tell the approaching man how bad the situation was but her eyelids decided against her and her head fell on the steering-wheel.

_"Oh my god, can you here me?" _Those were the last words she heard but they already felt very distant, as if they were miles away. Or was she miles away?

* * *

_"Car accident. 29 year old woman, unconscious since the time she was found, wound at the head, broken ribs-"_

For Remy it seemed as if the voices were pulling her nearer. Every second they got clearer. When suddenly she felt a hand hold her own. She tried to open her eyes but the bright light made it difficult to focus on anything.

"Ally?" she choked out.

"Yes baby, I'm here everything's okay," she heard her say in her angelic voice. All the bad things she said to her came flashing back to her mind. _And still she's with me right now,_ Remy thought.

"Al, I … I'm sorry. I want you to know…" _that I love you,_ her mind finished for her, but the words never came out of her mouth. Slowly she drifted off again, her eyes closing on their own will again, darkness taking over her as the last words Allison tells her are already hard to understand.

"Remy, no… no you can't do this to me. Please."

_I don't want to baby, I don't want to. I want to be with you. I can't stop it. It pulls me away from you. If I could, i would stop it. I would do everything possible to be with you. _Remy knew that there was nothing that she could do as the darkness around her took her away from the one person she loved more than everything.

_I would walk the world I'd cross the sea  
Journey beyond the moon  
I'd try anything, go anywhere to find my way back to you*_

She's hurting. Remy doesn't want her to be hurting. She wanted to take her in her arms, comfort her and tell her that everything would be okay but she knew it wouldn't...

_There's a voice in the silence  
And I heard it promise me  
When you came along  
I know you by heart  
Like a familiar song  
Every word is telling me  
That the time has finally come  
Now here you are  
And I know for sure_

_[...]_

_That baby you belong with me**_

At some point Remy wonders if this was already death, if she made it already or if there was more to come, more pain to stand. And then she heard it.

_"One more time. Clear."_

There were voices again.

* * *

***Faith Hill - Back to you**

****Faith Hill - Baby you belong**

**So that's it for now. Tell me if you liked it. I just somehow felt like writing it. I hope it turned out to be good.**

**Thanks for reading.**


	17. I love you too

**I'm sorry I kept you waiting for so long but I was in Austria and just came back the day before yesterday. But here is the update.**

**And by the way: Happy New Year!!!=)**

**Amazon Life: **I liked the idea with the dog. I looooooove dogs.

**Vanamo:** So you want to hack my site. You think threatening me will help? Hm, let's see what I can do for you…

* * *

When Victor saw her sitting there on the floor, he knew exactly what his daughter saw in Allison. Even now she was extremely beautiful. He pondered whether to talk to her or not, whether to comfort her or not. After a few minutes he sat down next to her but he did not say a word. He just sat there in silence.

When Allison looked up and they locked eyes, he seemed to feel her pain just by looking at her. Dried make up was all over her face showing that she had been crying even if she did not at the moment. He flashed a sad smile and she tried to give one back but it did not even nearly reach her eyes.

"She's going to be okay," he tried to reassure her.

"Sure," she answered, taking her eyes off of him. Staring at the door to the exam room her eyes began to fill with tears again but they did not find their way down. Her face was blank, empty, showing how far away she was.

"You're her father, aren't you," he finally heard her say, her eyes still on the door on the other side of the floor. It was not really a question, more a statement but still he gave her an answer.

"Yes, I am," he said, still looking at her. "And you must be Dr. Cameron."

Finally she looked at him again.

"How-"

"She told me about you. You must be really special to her."

"Mr. Hadley, I-"

"It's Victor for you," he said, a warm smile appearing on his face.

"Allison," she answered smiling back a little. "Look, I'm so sorry for everything. This is my entire fault. She was so upset," she said shaking her head. Tears were running down her face again.

"Shh, don't you dare say that again. This is nobody's fault," he said, laying his arm over her shoulder and guiding her into his arms for a warm embrace.

They had sat there like this for a while when finally the doors of Remy's exam room opened.

They both jumped to their feet and Cuddy and House ran over to them.

"How is she, Dr Green?" Cuddy was the first to find something to say.

"She's alive, but not in a good condition. The nurses will bring her to intensive care in a few minutes," he said professionally.

"Can we see her? Is she awake?" Allison blurted out.

"She's not awake but you can go in there for a while until the nurses come to bring her to her room," he said sympathetically.

He left and after changing looks with Cuddy, Allison walked into the room, Victor right behind her.

Allison entered the room with shaking legs. She saw Remy's almost lifeless body laying on the bed and felt her heart break once again. In the background she heard the beeping of the machines. Except from that the room was silent. Slowly she went over to the woman that held her heart and stopped a few inch away from her bed, hiding her face in her hands, she began to cry again, sobs shaking her body violently.

Suddenly she felt his arm around her shoulder again and turned around, burying her face in his chest. She noticed his hand on her upper back, rubbing up and down to sooth her.

After a while she calmed down and turned her body to Remy's bed. She took the brunette's right hand in her left one and ran her thumb over her knuckles. With her right hand she removed a few loose strands from Remy's face. Hesitating a little bit she finally leaned forward and placed a soft but lingering kiss on her forehead, tears streaming down her face and falling onto Remy's. Quickly she wiped them away, caressing her lovers face. One more time she leaned forward, her mouth next to the brunette's ear.

"I love you too," she whispered softly.

A few minutes later two nurses entered the room and asked Victor and Allison to leave the room. They also told them that they would bring her to room 305 and they could come there in half an hour.

Victor and Cameron left the room and watched them bringing her to another room. After they left there was an uncomfortable silence hanging between them.

"You want to get some coffee?" Victor finally decided to break the silence.

Allison looked up at him, shaken out of her thoughts. "Sure," she simply answered and began walking down the hall to lead him to the cafeteria.

"Why do you love my daughter?" Allison almost choked on her coffee.

"Excuse me? Don't you think that's a little bit too private?"

"I need to know that this is not just some phase and that you'll be there for her no matter what. I just need to know."

"Look, your daughter is amazing. She cares about her patients, she is a brilliant doctor and a lovely partner. She makes me laugh even on my worst days and without her I just don't feel complete. I would never leave her. Being with her makes me feel whole."

"And still you're not together anymore, which means that it didn't work out. I don't want her to get hurt that's all. She always acts like she can take everything but she just can't."

"I made a mistake, a big mistake and I know that, but I'm willing to change. It's not like I could hide my feelings anymore. I think by now the whole hospital knows. I just want her back. I don't want to go home without her anymore. I can't be without her anymore," Allison answered honestly, looking down at her hands that were holding her cup of coffee.

"That's all I needed to hear," he said, finally smiling at her softly. "Go! Or do you really want her to wake up without you by her side?"

"I- But…Don't you want to…I mean you're her father."

"Just go, she would want it that way," he said in a reassuring tone.

"Are you sure?" Slowly she stood up and looked at Victor who was still sitting on his chair.

"Definitely," he answered, a warm smile plastered on his face.

So Cameron headed to the elevator and headed to the third floor. When she came to room 305, she slowly opened the door a crack and looked inside. When she saw the peaceful figure of her former girlfriend lying on the hospital bed she opened the door fully and took a seat next to the brunette's bed.

She took her right hand in both of her hands and brought it up to her lips, placing a soft kiss on Remy's knuckles, while a single tear ran down her cheek.

* * *

**So, I'm not really happy about that chapter but I felt like I kept you waiting long enough. I'm sorry if it sucks.**

**I hope your 2010 started better than mine.**


	18. Still being sarcastic

**First of all, thanks a lot for all of your reviews. I was kind of surprised since I didn't like the chapter myself.**

**You guys are kind of lucky today. Normally I would not have the time to write because tomorrow university starts again but I have the stomach flu, so there's no university for me until Tuesday. I'm just glad that today I can actually do more than just lying in bed and listening to music.**

* * *

After about an hour of silently crying next to Remy's bed, Allison had fallen asleep with her head next to the brunette's sleeping body and her hand still holding Remy's.

As she woke up only half an hour later the auburn haired woman still wasn't awake. Worry made his way through Allison's body. She felt it everywhere. She looked up at the machines and listened to the regular sound of the woman's heartbeat.

Carefully she let her fingers trail through her rich brown hair, then let them fall down a little and caressed the sweep of her jaw. Moving a little lower to the side of her neck she unconsciously checked her pulse and felt a little more at ease as she found it to be regular.

"God, I'm so sorry baby, this is all my fault. Please just wake up," she said desperately hoping for her to open her eyes.

"I should have never let you go, I know that now," she continued her monologue, thinking that maybe the other girl can hear her.

"I would do everything to change it but I can't." Cameron again felt the wetness flowing down her cheeks. "I love you so much," she said now sobbing with her head on Remy's bed and their intertwined fingers pressed to her mouth.

"…love you too…"

Immediately Cameron's head shot up, looking at the auburn haired girl in front of her, who had her eyes slightly open, showing their ice blue color flashing through.

"Oh my god, you're awake. I was so afraid. Please don't ever do that to me again," the blonde blurted out all in one breath.

"It's not like I planned it," the brunette whispered, finding it very hard to speak but still forming a little smirk on her face to lighten up the mood a little bit.

"You'll never stop being sarcastic, will you?"

"You love it, don't deny this fact," Remy said, smiling at the blonde sitting in front of her.

"Maybe, a little bit. But now I need to get you some water and have to report everyone that you're awake," she answered smiling back as she got up from her chair.

"Everyone? Who would that be?"

"For example the people you work with, your boss, your bosses boss, oh and I think that cute nurse from the ER asked about you a few times. You know, the one you were flirting with a few months ago. Wait a minute, I think her name was Amy," she said, laughing a little bit because of the shocked expression on the brunette's face. "I'll be back in a few. Just rest a little."

Before Remy could protest, Allison had already left the room.´

* * *

Only about five minutes later, the door to her room opened again and a man entered, which immediately brought a smile to her face.

"Hey kiddo," her father greeted her, smiling back at his only daughter laying in the hospital bed. "How do you feel?"

"Well, kind of like my car hit a tree, I think. And I…" she hesitated a little. How much did the doctors tell them?

"You what?"

"Don't tell Allison, I think she doesn't know. "

"Doesn't know what honey?"

"I can't feel my legs dad," she said, tears threatening to fall down her cheeks.

The expression on his face showed blank horror. "What do you mean, you…"

"I can't feel them," she repeated, tears now flowing freely from her eyes.

Slowly he approached her and took her hand in his. He slowly leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead, lingering a little bit. "It'll be okay, kiddo. Everything will be okay," he whispered, not only trying to reassure her but also himself.

At this moment the doors opened again and in came two nurses and right behind them the woman that held her heart, carrying a glass of water as promised.

"How are you feeling Dr. Hadley?"

"Like my car hit a tree?"

"Good, that means you at least remember things. How about your legs?" _God she asked as if it was the most normal thing in the world._

"What about her legs?" _Oh god, Allison had to pick up on that one._

"Everything's fine," she told the nurses and gave them a look, as if to tell them to send off Ally and her dad.

"Well, that's great," one of the nurses picks up Remy's glance. "Mr. Hadley, Dr. Cameron, would you please leave the room now, we would like to fully examine her now."

"But-" Allison started to protest but got caught off by Victor.

"Come on, Allison, we'll go get you another coffee. You look tired."

* * *

"What was that about her legs?"

Victor sat across from the blonde and debated with himself whether to tell her or not. _She would kill me, if I told Allison._

"I don't know. Her car hit a tree, so some damage would be normal, wouldn't it? I mean you are the doctor not me," he said, forcing a smile on his face.

"Yeah, I am, that's why I don't get why they didn't let me stay."

"You're more than her doctor, maybe that's why?!"

"Yeah, maybe," Allison shrugged it off after thinking about it for a little while.

"So I think we should head back now. We don't want her to be alone, do we?"

"No, you're right," Allison answered, a smile forming on her lips as she thought about being with the brunette again.

As they entered Remy's room again, Dr. Cuddy was with her and both of them had serious looks on their faces. They both looked up at them, shocked at first.

"Ally," Remy greeted the blonde with a smile, holding out her hand, for her former girlfriend to hold it. Allison walked over to her and gladly took her hand in hers.

"Is everything okay? You look kind of stern," Allison asked her.

"Well, I just told Cuddy that I really, really miss my suspenders and asked her to bring me at least one pair but she had to ruin it by saying that they wouldn't fit the hospital gown. Do you think so too? You have to be honest."

"God, I really thought something was wrong, stop that please. And your suspenders always look hot on you, you should know that I love them," Allison told her, kissing her on the forehead lightly.

"How would I. Most of the time you just like to-"

"Don't you dare end that sentence Remy Hadley. We're not alone in here," she scolded her like a five year old.

"Sorry mum," Remy mumbled sarcastically.

"Oh, either way I think it's time for me to go. House needs someone to babysit him," Cuddy said, grinning at their little banter. "Get well soon, Dr. Hadley. I'll be back tomorrow."

"Yeah, well I think I'm going for a walk. I'll see you later, kiddo," Victor excused himself too and followed Cuddy out of the door.

"So, what were you going to say earlier," Allison challenged Remy when they were alone again.

"Oh, nothing important, you just like to rip my suspenders off, which is not really nice of you. I really love them, you know?!"

"I love them too, they just sometimes…well they are in my way in some situations," Allison retorted, smirking at her.

"Which situations would you mean exactly?"

"Still flirtatious. It can't be that bad," Allison replied, now fully smiling at her.

At that Remy's facial expression changed to serious again. She looked away from Allison and nothing else was said.

"What's wrong Rem?"

At first Remy didn't answer at all but after a while she looked up at Allison. "Come lay with me?"

"Sure," Allison answered without hesitation and lay down beside her, slightly bumping her left leg against one of Remy's legs.

"Oh my god, sorry," she said drawing back her leg.

"For what?"

"Your leg, didn't it hurt?"

"What? Oh no, no it's okay, really," she said, forcing a smile.

"Remy, stop lying to me. What the hell is going on?"

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**AAAAAAAND CUT!**

**I kind of got caught up in this and now it's past midnight in Germany. Since I'm ill I should definitely be sleeping right now which is exactly what I'm going to do right now. So this is not reread. Just tell me if you find any mistakes.**

**I hope you liked it, please review.**


	19. Are you out of your mind?

**So, I don't want to torture you any longer. Chapter 19 is up and hopefully you'll like it. Only Camteen in this chapter, no other characters involved :) Enjoy!**

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"_Remy, stop lying to me. What the hell is going on?"_

Before Remy was even able to say something, Allison was already on her feet, walking up and down at the end of her hospital bed.

"Ally, I just-"

"You just what? I thought we were done lying to each other. Why do you keep doing this to me?"

"Ally, I can't-"

"You can't what? You can't tell me? What are you protecting me from this time? Was the accident because of a tremor? Or the thing about your legs, what does that even mean?"

By now the blonde had walked to the side of Remy's bed again, looking at her furious but at the same time desperate.

"Ally-"

"I mean whatever it is, everyone seems to know, your dad knows, Cuddy knows, the nurses know. Yeah and earlier House walked past me and he smiled this sad smile at me, which means he knows too. I just-"

"ALLISON!" Remy had grabbed her at her wrist and almost screamed at her, well as far as possible in her condition, but still it was the loudest that the ER-doctor had hear her talk ever since she woke up.

"Would you please just stop and listen to me," Remy said, trying to keep calm but still talking loud, to make her companion listen to her. And she got what she wanted. Allison was listening to her. But now that she got her undivided attention, she was hesitant to continue.

"Since the accident," she began speaking quietly, "I can't feel my legs."

Allison was unable to move. She stood next to the bed and stared at the woman laying on it, not saying a word.

Slowly Remy let her hand fall from her wrist to her hand and softly caressed her knuckles.

"Oh my god…" It was only a whisper, not even directed to someone but the brunette still heard it.

"Allison," she tried to get her attention back.

"You mean, you…" She couldn't say it, couldn't let the words leave her mouth. Her girlfriend was paralyzed. Like it's not enough that she's going to die in about ten years, maybe more maybe less. Now she's paralyzed to. This can't be happening.

"We don't know yet. Look, they're working on it. Ally, there is still hope, just don't break down now okay? Please, I can't have you break down now."

"Okay," was all that Allison was able to say at that very moment.

When Remy saw her looking to the ground, she knew there was still something the woman needed to know.

"What is it?"

Cameron looked up at her, shocked that the brunette could analyze her that easy.

"Do they…do they know why?"

Thirteen gulped and met Cameron's eyes pleadingly. "They did some tests while you and my dad were out getting coffee. The trauma to the spinal cord…" She trailed off. She knew that she didn't have to explain any further.

"How bad is it?"

"The myleopathy to the lumbar and sacral regions was severe, with moderate inflammation. Cuddy put me on saline to reduce it, but the EKG results weren't good. She said with surgery, there's a small chance, but it's risky and…" she trailed off and bit her lip, straining to feel the legs she knew were there.

"No!"

Allison took her hand out of the brunette's and took a few steps back. Remy was startled to say the least. That was not the reaction she had expected.

"What do you mean Ally?"

"I mean no, you're not going to do this. Are you out of your mind? You could die during the surgery. This is not fun. This is either being able to walk again or dying. We could be happy, even if you weren't able to walk."

"Maybe you could, but I could not be happy that way. Never!"

"But why, we have us, isn't that enough?"

"I'm sorry Allison, but for me it's not. I can't do this. I want to be normal, at least as long as possible."

"And for that you're willing to risk your life?" Allison was outraged. How could Remy think like that?

"Yes," she simply answered. "I am. The Huntington's will affect us soon enough. I can't have people caring for me all my life. I can't live like that."

"God, this is just about your ego, you're too proud to let me help you. When will you learn that you have to lean on people sometimes?"

"I'm not even 30, I want to live what's left of my life and if there is a way that I can live it without a wheelchair then I'm definitely going to take that chance. Allison, I need to walk again," Remy exclaimed, desperation written all over her face.

"Remy, I can't…" Allison hesitated. She knew this was important for the younger woman but what if it turned out to be a mistake?

Remy noticed the change of mood in the air. The ER-doctor wasn't upset anymore. She looked sorrowful, tears building up in her sad green eyes, threatening to fall down every second.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

Slowly the blonde took a step forward to Remy's bed again, taking her hand in hers and immediately interlacing their fingers.

"I can't do this again, Rems, I can't lose you again."

"What do you mean again?"

"I thought you were dead, Remy. I thought you wouldn't make it and it nearly killed me. I can't live without you." By the end of the sentence Allison's voice was nothing more than a whisper anymore.

"Come here, honey," the brunette said, tapping the small place on the bed next to her. Not saying a word Allison lay down next to the auburn haired girl, facing her.

"I'm here, Allison. Everything's going to be okay. We'll make it through this. Together, okay?"

Tears were running down Allison's face as she nodded and lifted her hand to touch every inch of Remy's face. She brushed a strand of her rich brown hair out of her face and slowly let her shaking fingers trail over her cheek and down to the sweep of her jaw. All the while Remy's eyes never left hers. Brushing her fingers over her lover's lips, she finally leaned in and replaced her fingers with her own lips. It was not just a kiss. It was a promise, a promise to be there…no matter what.

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**So, at this point I have to say: Don't thank me, thank Vanamo for that chapter. We mailed over 4 hours now to make this happen. Ok, for her that's not a problem since it's not night in America like it is in Germany. Yes it is 1:30 a.m.! ****So anyway, thank you Vanamo for making this happen. I definitely owe you.**


	20. She's risking her life!

**Sorry for the lack of updates. I had a lot going on lately. I thought about this chapter a lot and it might be a little ooc but I just liked the idea. I hope you like it too****.**

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It was 11a.m. when she entered the bar, 11.03a.m. when she had her first drink in hand and only 5 minutes later when she had her second standing on the wooden bar in front of her. It was about half an hour later when he entered the bar and she just finished her fifth drink.

She didn't need to look up to know who was standing next to her since she heard his cane touching the wooden floor heavily.

When he realized she wasn't going to acknowledge his presence, he sat down on the bar stool next to her, ordering a new round of drinks for the both of them after noticing her glass was empty.

As their drinks were placed in front of them, he picked up the glass and silently took a sip, placing it on the bar again afterwards, his left hand still around it.

"What are you doing here, House?" She wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone and she definitely wasn't in the mood to talk to House. She kept her eyes on her glass, never creating eye contact.

"The right question would be, what you are doing here," he answered, sarcasm flowing threw his voice, but not as harsh as it usually would while talking to others.

"That's none of your business," she retorted, still refusing to look at him.

"Oh my god, you even sound like her. Did she infect you?"

"Don't you dare make jokes about her when I'm around," she barked at him, anger evident in her eyes, now that she looked at him.

"Oh, so now you care?"

"God, what are you even talking about? Why shouldn't I care? I love her," she said, getting slightly confused by this conversation. The drinks were starting to numb her brain, thinking getting more and more complicated with every passing minute. She should have started with something easier than straight whiskey.

"Oh sorry, I forgot. Well then I'm probably hallucinating right now and not talking to you, because since you love her you are definitely at the hospital at the moment, waiting for Thirteen to come out of the OR and wake up, so that you two can have your happily ever after."

"If she will wake up," was all she answered even if it hurt a lot what he told her. She wanted to be there, she just couldn't, she had to get away from this. She couldn't watch her die because of her stupid stubbornness.

"You should know your girlfriend better than that," he said, trying to show the ignorance in his voice but there was smoothness in his tone that she never heard before.

She looked at him again with a doubting expression on her face.

"She's strong, you know? We won't get rid of her that easy, believe me," he said with big effort to get some sarcasm into his voice but instead letting out a desperate chuckle.

"House, she's risking her live just to walk again. I accept that she has to do this but I won't support it. I just can't. She can't ask me to watch her kill herself, she just can't," she told him, her voice almost giving out at the end.

She made another attempt to pick up her drink, but by now the numbness of the alcohol was being replaced with bitter hurt in her chest. Her hands shook as she firmly tried to grip the glass and it ended up spilling all over the bar. She choked on her own breath as tears threatened to fall over.

House awkwardly put his arms around her, just in case she fell off the barstool. "Ok, this makes us even for all the lesbian comments," he muttered. She swayed a bit and he hissed as he supported his weight on his bad leg along with Cameron's. Grabbing his cane, he swung her arm over his shoulders and flung a pair of twenties on the bar. Cameron had silent tears running down her face and House sighed.

"I'm not going to be able to carry you," he said.

"Just leave me alone. Please," she begged him, leaning her full weight on him.

"I could do that. But since I'm an ass, I won't. I have to support our favorite lesbians," he tried to joke, hiding the fact that his heart ached by the sight in front of him.

"This is not one of your damn jokes, House," she screamed at him, now struggling so he would have to let her go. He couldn't hold her anymore and she slightly fell backwards against her bar stool.

Almost violently he grabbed her wrist and forced her to look in his eyes. "No, it's not. But do you really want her to wake up without you holding her hand? You love her? Then you also have to go through the hard times. And now move. We have to get back."

Allison was shocked to say the least. She just looked at him not sure what to do or what to answer to this. It was almost as if he cared about her and even more it seemed like he cared about Remy. He refused to think about her not getting through this alive.

"Earth to Cameron," he shook her out of her thoughts. "What else will I have to say to get your little bony ass out of here?" He was growing impatient. He wasn't good at this. Normally he was the drunken one and not the other way round.

Again she did not say a word. Instead she took a step towards him clumsily and leeched onto his left arm so he could still use his cane with his right one.

Slowly they made their way to his car and while he drove in the direction of the hospital she kept looking out of the window. It wasn't a long ride since she walked to the bar but for House it would have been a long walk particularly with Cameron depending on him.

A few minutes later they arrived at the hospital parking lot, but the ER doctor didn't even realize that the car stopped. She was still staring out of the window, her vision blurred from the unshed tears in her eyes, not focusing on anything.

Noticing the lack of reaction on the blonde's side he exited the car, taking his cane from the back seat, walked around it and opened Cameron's door.

"Come on, Thirty-One is waiting for you," he said, offering his hand to her.

Eventually she looked up at him, pain written all over her face. His voice took her back to reality and made her realize where she was. She slowly unbuckled the seat belt and took House's hand to get out of the car.

Hesitating she looked up at him, hoping to find something in his eyes that would give her the courage to do this. He made an attempt to smile at her but his eyes didn't fool her. He knew the chance of Remy getting out of this alive and with the ability to walk again was really low. He knew this as good as she did but still something made her think that he was sure about this.

"Let's get this over with, little ex duckling. I can't even stand you anymore," he said, trying to lighten the mood.

Again she clutched his left arm and let him lead her to the main entrance of the hospital. They entered the elevator and she saw him pressing the button to the floor where Remy's room was at.

She took his wrist and stopped him from pressing the button. "No," she said softly. "I want to be with her," she explained, pressing the button for the second floor where her lover was being operated.

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**That's it. Again I have to thank Vanamo for helping me out when I got stuck at the beginning of this chapter. I hope you liked it.**


	21. How could I not love you?

**I'm sorry it took me so long but since it's the end of the term, I have tests at all my classes and don't have much time to write since I'm all stressed out. I'm not sure if I like that chapter myself but still I hope you like it.**

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All the way to the OR House had to support Cameron's walking. He led her along the halls and when people walked by he just gave them a look that was sure to say 'Don't you dare open your mouth'. When he felt the ER-doctor leaning more and more against him and walking slower he stopped to look at her. Noticing that her eyes were only barely open, he sat her down on a nearby chair carefully.

"What are you doing House? We're not there yet," she slurred quietly.

"Just wait here. I'll bring you some coffee. If Cuddy sees you like that, she'll send you out in no time."

The blonde only nodded and sighed, leaning back in the chair. She tried her hardest to not just fall asleep right then and there. She knew she couldn't. Remy needed her. Still she closed her eyes, trying to make the horrible merry-go-round that her head was producing stop. Everything was spinning and she pressed her feet against the ground making sure it was still there while she felt she was swaying around. Her stomach felt more and more sick with every passing second that her world kept spinning.

She remembered Remy making her feel like she left the ground, remembered how good she felt back then, her soft touch always making her fly. Her hands that wandered down her body carefully, making sure not to hurt the blonde. She touched her like she was touching the wings of a butterfly, anxious to break her. Every wall that Cameron ever had built around her broke down in front of Remy. She never let anyone get as close as she let the stunning brunette. She felt vulnerable and naked in front of her, the young doctor looking at her as if she was looking directly into her soul and yet she felt safe. The way Remy looked at her, making her feel more beautiful than she ever did before. The way her eyes would study her whole body would always bring a smile onto Allison's lips. God, those eyes. Every time Remy looked at her, Allison felt as if she was holding her with her eyes. As if she was holding her so tight that she couldn't move.

Being around Remy made Allison redefine her world. Everything she knew before was shoved away as a lie, being replaced with the truth that was Remy Hadley. She knew she belonged to her and only her. She was like a song to her. A song that she knew by heart. A song that she wanted to sing all her life. That was something she was sure of. More sure than she has ever been before about anything. She wanted to wake up with her every day for as long as possible.

The way the sunlight lit up her face always made her breath get caught in her throat. That's what love's supposed to be, isn't it? When you melt into each other, when all the walls tumble down, when you don't need words to express your love to each other. The magic that's floating in the air every time Remy touches her is indescribable.

She loved Remy, she knew she did. She loved everything about her. The way her hand fit in hers, the way she had her arms wrapped around her when she woke up in the morning with her head on the younger woman's chest, hearing her heart beating slowly and regularly. She loved the way Remy said her name, the way she smiled at her, giving her eyes that special sparkle. Remy was beautiful, beautiful in every single way. She loved Remy and she wanted to love her for the rest of all time.

Feeling her stomach making turns, Allison pushed herself up from the chair and made a mad dash for the bathroom on the other side of the floor. Stumbling she crashed open the door to one of the stalls and threw up all the alcohol that she drank earlier. Choking over and over again, she felt as if her body was cleaning itself inside out, settling all her sorrows.

When she felt as if her stomach didn't have anything left to give, she slowly sat down on the cold flagging, leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, not yet feeling ready to stand up again.

"It's not as bad as it seems," she remembers Remy's words. "Everything will be okay baby, I promise." She remembered the salty taste on her lips when she kissed Remy before the operation and couldn't hold back the tears that ran down her face. "This isn't who I am Allison, you have to understand that," she heard her voice as if Remy was standing behind her in that little cabin in the bathroom. "Do you still love me despite all of my insecurities?" –"Of course I do. How could I not love you Hun?" The blonde remembered the smile that her sentence brought to Remy's lips. The smile that was only reserved for her.

When the nurses came in to take her to the OR she looked down at her lover once more, leaning down to kiss her forehead softly, lingering a few seconds. "Will you be waiting for me when I get out of the OR?" _Yes,_ she thought to herself but thinking back knew that she didn't answer her question. She just gave her a half smile, squeezing her hand once again before the nurses rolled her bed out of the room. There' so many things that she wished she had said at that very moment but she didn't say a word.

Upon hearing the door to her stall open loudly, she looked up at a grumpy House.

"Can't I even leave you alone for one second?"

Not being in the mood for his bad jokes, she bent her head down, breaking eye contact and closing her eyes again. When he realized that she wouldn't answer he let out a silent sigh.

"Come one little ex-duckling, the dying girl is waiting for you," he said and as soon as he saw the single tear running down her face, noticed that this wasn't the best thing to say in this situation. He contemplated to apologize but decided against it, seeing as it might be used against him at some point.

"God, I won't wait forever," he said, holding his left hand out for her to take it.

With tearstained face she looked up at him, hoping to find hope in his eyes, but found none. Only this sympathetic look that she never thought she would ever see on his face. Glancing at his hand she slowly laid her hand in his and let him pull her up to her feet.

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**So what do you think? Just tell me!**


	22. She needs you

**So, since I can't work all the time and my internet broke down which means I can't distract myself with reading or mailing with a certain someone (xD), I figured I could just write a little bit.**

**Oh and this will be my longest AN ever!!**

**Vanamo: Of course you were the 100****th****. I reserved it only for you ;) What did you think?**

**Pink Jover: God, it was so nice to have someone writing me German things. Thanks a lot and from now on Belgians are my favorite people ever ;)**

**flooj9235****: Well I'm just that cruel. It was definitely on purpose. **

**Amazon Life: Well well, see who's talking ;) I will bring Cam to the OR but come on do you really think I'll end the suspense already? Think again ;)**

**So thanks for all your reviews, they keep me going :p**

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Carefully House led her back to her chair and sat her down on it. He held the cup of coffee he got for her earlier in front of her and when he got no reaction from her, he noticed that she spaced out again.

"Here," he said in a calm voice, trying not to startle her but still getting her attention.

She looked up at him with her sad green eyes, fear and pain written all over them. Just looking at her eyes made his heart ache. After starring at him for a while she glanced at the cup he was holding and hesitatingly took it in her right hand. She took a sip and then just stared into it for a few seconds.

At some point Allison was sure that this all was just a dream, that the last few weeks never happened. That they never broke up, that Remy never got into that accident, that Remy wasn't in the OR now, risking her life to be able to walk again, that Remy will be laying in her arms again this evening and she will watch her sleep peacefully. This just can't be happening. They were happy with each other, they were happy. They had all they needed and now everything might just end there.

Looking up at House again, who was still standing in front of her, just starring and waiting for her to finish her coffee, she knew that it wasn't a dream. The sympathy in his eyes, the forced smile he gave her. It wasn't a dream. Her girlfriend was in the operation room at the other end of the hall and might not come out of it alive.

Finishing her coffee as fast as possible, she held out her hand for House to help her up, which he did. She threw the cup into the next trash can and clung onto House's arm again for dear life. They went down the hall, not stopping again until they stood in front of the door to the room from which doctors were allowed to watch operations.

House didn't move, didn't open the door. He knew it wasn't his job to do, so he waited for Cameron to be sure and open it herself. Breathing in deeply once more, she took the handle of the door and slowly opened it, entering the room.

Walking to the glass front, she looked down at her girlfriend laying on her stomach, surgeons all around her with white masks covering their mouths and working on her open back. Not able to see the woman's face, she found herself looking at the monitor showing her regular heart beat.

Not moving an inch she kept staring at the monitor. After a few minutes she felt tears running down her face silently, followed by an arm on her shoulders. She realizes House has his right left arm wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her in his arms. Not even looking up at him, she rested her cheek against his left chest, still not taking her eyes off of the monitor representing Remy's heart, representing her life.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a few seconds imagining how Remy would always hold her from behind and trail sweet kisses on her neck. How the brunette would wrap her arms around her waist, push up her shirt a little bit and caress her stomach. How she would hold her, as if she never ever wanted to let go of her. How her breath felt on her neck and how her hands on her exposed stomach brought chills upon her spine. God, how she wished Remy was holding her right now, telling her that everything will be fine, being the strong one for her. But Cameron knew that today she had to be the strong one.

Suddenly her thoughts were interrupted by an irritating sound. Opening her eyes, she brought her eyes back to the monitor again and noticed the flat line it showed. She saw the doctors running around her lover and Chase looking up at her, worry evident in his eyes.

After that her vision blurred. She felt arms wrap around her and a little later she felt her back touching cold material. And suddenly everything went black.

Beeeep.

"Cameron! Cameron!"

She wasn't sure if she was dreaming but she thought she heard someone calling her name. She wanted to open her eyes but her eyelids were too heavy. Instead she tried to focus on listening again.

"Cameron!"

Yes, by now she was sure someone was talking to her. Well rather trying to talk to her, since she felt as if she wasn't able to answer.

Beeeep.

But there was another sound. It was a disturbing sound. Actually it was more like a tone.

Beeeep.

She opened her eyes, hoping to find the source of the tone, squinting when the bright light hit her eyes. She saw House and Cuddy leaning over her, staring at her relieved. But there was still a hint of sadness in their eyes.

"Dr. Cameron, thank god," she heard Cuddy say.

"What happened?"

"You fainted. It was probably the shock combined with the alcohol that's still in your body," House told her professionally, trying to show no emotion at all.

"She has been drinking?" Cuddy looked up at him disbelievingly. "You forgot to mention that earlier."

And that's when it hit her.

"Remy," she said, pushing up her body with her arms but soon realized that she couldn't stand up without help. House immediately supported her and she looked through the window down at the doctors, who were still busy, trying to reanimate her girlfriend.

Beeeep.

She walked to the window and pressed her hands against it.

"No, Remy don't do this to me."

Slowly she felt her legs giving in again and slid down along the glass.

"Come on. Don't do this to me."

Softly punching the window she kneeled down as sobs began shaking her whole body.

"No," she whimpered again as she felt House's arms around her, pulling her into his sanctuary.

"You can't leave me now, you can't."

Beeeep.

"I don't know how to live without you," she whimpered desperately as if she believed that Remy could hear every word she said.

Slowly rocking her back and forth, House looked up at Cuddy as if trying to say 'Do something, for Christ's sake!'

"I don't know how to live without you."

Beeeep…

'Come on Thirteen, you're stronger than this. She needs you,' House addressed her in his mind.

* * *

**AAAAAH the suspense again. No actually I wanted to write more, but I have an exam tomorrow (well when you read this it will be over since I can't upload this today) and I don't have time to continue it tomorrow either but I thought you'd be glad to have an update.**


	23. Don't leave me

**I'm so sorry for not updating the last 2 months but I was at my parents' for over a month and wasn't really in the mood to write. So now, I hope you won't have to kill me and I won't have to fear Vanamo's wrath.**

**

* * *

**Cuddy just stared at the scenery in front of her, unsure what to do. House comforting Cameron? Thirteen dying on the operation table? This felt so unreal. What was she supposed to do? She saw House staring at her, begging her to do something, anything. Looking down at the operation going on, she saw Chase, looking at her with pleading eyes and knew there was only one thing she could do right now. Nodding at him she turned to House and simply said.

"Get her out of here!"

"What?" To say he was furious would have been an understatement.

"I said bring her out of here," she repeated slowly, strength filling her voice again. "She can wait in Dr. Hadley's room."

"You have to be kidding me," he said, an incredulous look plastered to his face.

"Do I look as if I'm kidding? Do it, or I will page someone else to do it."

He looked down at the blonde woman in his arms. She didn't even realize there was a conversation going on, let alone one containing her. Slowly he tried to stand up, taking her with him.

"Don't leave me," he heard her mumble into his chest again. "Don't leave me."

"Cameron?" He waited for a few seconds, hoping to get her attention but she stayed silent.

"Cameron," he tried again, shaking her a little bit at her shoulder. Finally she looked up at him, confusion written all over her face. "We can't stay in her, come on."

"What do you mean we can't stay here?"

"We just can't okay? Let's go wait in her room."

Without another word he escorted her out of the room, up to the next floor and to Thirteen's hospital room. Sitting her down on an empty chair he watched her, hoping to find out what she was thinking about. She didn't budge at all when he brought her up here. Not even a little bit. It was as if she wasn't really there, only a shell of the woman she was, her mind somewhere else.

Back at the cabin observing the operation room, Cuddy was staring down at a thankful Chase. Seeing his ex wife break down didn't really help trying to save Thirteen's life. Cuddy watched the doctors doing their job getting more edgy with every second that the brunette's heartbeat didn't return. Nervousness started rising in her too. She felt helpless standing there, not able to help in any way. It felt impossible to stay. She contemplated leaving the room, turning around, when she suddenly heard it.

Beep Beep Beep

There it was. Her heartbeat. Cuddy turned around as fast as possible looking at the monitor that showed a flat line just a few seconds ago. Relieved she looked at Chase who gave her a slight nod. She knew this wasn't over yet but at least now they could continue. It was now or never, she wouldn't survive another operation .

* * *

Cuddy walked back to Thirteen's room, ready to deliver the good news to Cameron and House. She quietly opened the door and saw the blonde doctor sitting on a chair, her elbows on her knees, hands supporting her head and tearing at her hair. She didn't even notice Cuddy entering. House however noticed and immediately looked up at her, his eyes questioning her.

"So far everything went well," Cuddy started and as soon as Cameron heard the voice of the Dean of Medicine she looked up, hope shining through her tearstained eyes, but she didn't dare interrupt her.

"They're stitching her up right now and after that they'll bring her back here. Then we'll just have to wait for her to wake up."

"If she wakes up," Cameron added bitterly and returned to her previous position.

"Shut up," House snapped at her but she didn't even flinch,already back to her state of numbness.

"She's strong. Have some faith Cameron," Cuddy said before leaving the room and motioning for House to join her.

Letting him walk out first so she could supervise his every move, she silently closed the door behind her. She turned around and was surprised by the worried look aimed at the room he just left, watching the distraught doctor sitting in her chair through the glass walls.

"How did it really go?" He still didn't take his eyes off of the blonde woman, a stern look on his face.

"Well, it took some time to reanimate her which could lead to complications when it comes to her waking up but they went through with the operation after her heart rate was back to normal and hopefully, if she wakes up, she'll also be able to walk again."

"Not if. There is no place for an If. WHEN she wakes up. She has to wake up otherwise we'll lose both of them and you know that," he said now looking down at her seriously.

"Yes, I know. All we can do is pray."

House scoffed at this. "Oh come on, don't be ridiculous. As if that would ever really help. Just remind me to kill her for making this stupid decision as soon as she wakes up."

"I thought if someone would understand it would be you. If you had the possibility to walk without a cane again wouldn't you do anything for it?"

"Of course I would but I wouldn't pull anyone with me. It would only be me. I'm allowed to be selfish, she isn't. If she would really love her, she would have just tried to live with her situation and have her happy ever after with little Miss Sunshine. Instead she destroyed little Miss Sunshine."

"This is so typical. What do you even know about love? Did you ever notice the way she looks at her? Why am I even talking to you?"

"Because you can't help it, I'm just too damn sexy," he said, a little smirk forming on his lips despite the situation. "And you just can't stop the urge to be with me as much as possible."

"You're a jerk, House," she said rolling her eyes.

"And you aren't denying what I just said," he said his smirk growing bigger.

Just when Cuddy was about to answer she saw a few nurses wheeling a still unconscious Thirteen through the hall, towards them.

Opening the door for the nurses, Cuddy watched as Cameron's body shot up when she noticed them bringing in her girlfriend. She impatiently waited for the nurses to finish hooking her up to the machines and leaving the room. She took her chair and placed it right next to Remy's bed, watching the peaceful woman on the bed. Hesitantly she took her hand and started rubbing her thumb over her lover's knuckles. She lowered her head and softly kissed her knuckles, lingering a little bit, tears welling up in her eyes again.

"Please, don't leave me," she whispered, repeating her words from earlier.

Slowly she lifted her right hand, the one that wasn't holding her girlfriend's hand, and removed a strand of hair out of Remy's face, looking at her beautiful facial features. She moved her hand through her auburn hair and down to her cheek, caressing it lightly with her thumb.

"I love you, hun."

When she heard the glass doors slide open again she turned around to look into the saddened eyes of Victor Hadley.

* * *

**So this is it. I hope I at least could make it up to you a little bit with that update. So liked it? Tell me ;)**


	24. Author's Note

So, as you can see, this is not a new chapter. I'm very sorry to tell you this guys but out of personal reasons, I don't think I'll be able to continue this for at least a few weeks. I don't know if I'll be able to continue it at all. I'm really sorry, I'll try my best though. Please, don't hate me...


	25. Talking to you

**So guys, I tried to write again and I hope it's not too awful. Actually this is very different from the rest of the story. It's written from Remy's point of view and NO she did not wake up yet. Just read it. Thanks for giving me the time I needed and I hope this makes up for the long wait!**

* * *

There it was again, that soft voice. I knew exactly who it belonged to. Of course I knew it was her. She must have been there almost 24/7 because the voice only stopped when I felt a light weight on the bed right next to my hand that she held the whole time.

Every time she begged me to wake up, I wanted to so badly, to make it happen for her, but it never worked.

Every time she fell asleep with her head on my bed, right next to our joined hands, I wanted to caress her hair, make her as comfortable as possible while sleeping in a chair, but my body didn't move at all.

That was my biggest problem. More than once I tried to move, tried to find out if I could move my legs, if the operation had worked. More than once I had to realize though that no part of my body moved when I wanted it to, no part of my body moved at all. I couldn't even open my eyes.

She was still talking to me, telling me what we could do as soon as I woke up and was out of the hospital. She told me that 'our' band was playing in 'our' bar in 3 weeks and that she wants to go on a date with me then.

"I know it sounds weird…a date… but I figured since we weren't together for a while and it was my fault, that we could start over and I could take you out on a date. And what better place is there to start over than the bar where everything started with the band that played the song that became our song that night. If you don't want to, it's okay though, it was just an idea. We don't have to go there…"

I could practically see the blush on her face right in front of my eyes but I also heard the sadness in her voice when she referred to our break-up. I wanted to comfort her, tell her it wasn't her fault and that there was nothing that I'd love more than going on that date with the woman I love, but I knew I couldn't. Nothing moved…

"You know, your dad and I get along very well. He's such a nice guy. He brings me food so that I don't have to leave you. Everyone cares and helps as much as possible, even House. He went to my apartment with Wilson - Cuddy wasn't able to do it – to get me clothes and things to clean myself up. Cuddy told me to take off as many days as I need to and said that she wouldn't take it from my vacation…"

As she continued talking I wondered how much time had passed since the operation. She needs clothes and things to clean herself up? How long has she been sitting there already? How long did I keep her waiting already?

"…this summer I'd like to go to Italy? What do you think? You and me alone in Venice or Tuscany or even Rome? I think it would be great. We could both use some time off, some time away from everything and everyone."

She was talking all the time, she never really stopped. I actually never believed that someone can hear what the people at their bedside are telling them. I know better now. It was comforting to know that she was with me and that I was not alone.

"I have to talk to Cuddy now hun, but I promise I'll be back before you even notice I'm gone!"

Okay sorry Babe but that's a lie, of course I noticed. I already missed you before you were even gone. I didn't want you to leave because I didn't want to be alone, I didn't want to get the chance to think. Things like: Why don't I wake up? Why can I hear you but not move any part of my body? Will I even be able to go to Italy with you? Come back!

It was useless, I knew you couldn't hear me, but hey it was worth a try wasn't it? I waited and waited and it seemed like hours passed until you returned. I heard the door open and someone sat down and as the person next to me started talking I realized that it wasn't you sitting next to me.

"You have to wake up, you know? She won't be able to go on without you. It'll tear her apart. I see how it already does now and your father, as much as he tries to be strong, he's not. He only leaves at night to sleep a few hours and returns early in the morning to see if anything changed. You have to be the most stupid person I ever met. Are you out of your fucking mind? You knew exactly the risks this operation would have and you knew exactly how devastated she would be if something had gone wrong. I swear, as soon as you wake up I'll have to kill you for acting like the fool you are. Damn, sometimes I ask myself why I even hired you," he spat at me, anger controling his voice. Then he seemed to be contemplating something. "Oh I forgot, you're hot," he let his mind wander before he spoke up again furiously. "Whatever!"

And with that he stood up again and left without saying another word. He just left. But actually for House that kind of was a nice speech. He cares. He has his own way of showing it but he cares, Allison was right.

Only about 5 minutes later the door opened again and someone sat down next to me and this time I knew it was her because the second she took my hand everything was as okay as it could be. My mind seemed to relax as soon as she started talking again and I let her words surround me again.

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**So that's it for now. I hope you liked it. Just review and tell me. **


	26. Oh my god!

**Here I aaaaam, I'm back with a new chapter and I think I actually like it for once ;) Hope you enjoy it! **

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When Victor walked in, Allison saw the overwhelming sadness in his eyes. She imagined it being even harder for him. After losing his wife way too early, now seeing his daughter on the edge of death must be very hard.

"How is she?"

"She's fine, she just needs to wake up," she answered not even thinking about the option of her girlfriend not waking up. The thought alone would be too hard for her to take.

"Do you want me to leave the room for a while, so you can be alone with her?"

"No, it's fine really," he answered immediately. "I just wanted to see if everything's alright and if you needed anything."

"No, I'm okay but thanks for asking," she said, forcing a smile onto her exhausted face. "You sure, you don't want to talk to her?"

"Yeah, I am. I'm not really into talking, not even knowing if the person can hear me. I'll just leave you two alone again," he said turning around and leaving the room quickly.

Cameron understood it though. He watched his wife die; he couldn't watch his daughter…

The sun was already setting outside and Allison stared outside the window, spacing out for a while. Then she turned her attention back to her girlfriend in the hospital bed.

"Hun, you need to wake up, please," she begged, her hand never letting go of Remy's soft hand. She squeezed it a little and ran her thumb over her knuckles, her eyes watering again.

"He's right actually. I'm talking and talking about everything and nothing and I don't even know if you hear any of it."

"I do," she heard a quiet voice next to her. Remy was amazed, yes almost shocked that her voice worked and there were actually sounds coming out of her mouth. Immediately Allison's head shot up to look at the brunette lying on the bed in front of her. Her eyes were closed. Could she have imagined it?

"Babe?"

"Yeah," came the silent reply. It was very silent but she still heard her.

"Oh my god, Remy," she cried out, relieve washing over her. "You're awake. Can you open your eyes for me hun? Can you do that?"

Slowly the brunette's eyes fluttered open a little bit to look at the blonde sitting next to her, trying to adjust to the bright light of the hospital room. She opened her mouth to speak again but the ER-doctor beat her to it.

"No, don't say anything, it's okay. I'm so glad you're awake. God, I don't know what I would have done without you babe," she said, touching every inch of her girlfriend's face, tears of joy running down her own. She caressed her cheek lightly and ran her hand through her auburn hair. Slowly she leaned forward and placed a soft kiss onto Remy's lips, which brought a smile onto the brunette's face.

"How long was I gone?"

Allison gulped and looked at her a bit afraid of answering her. "Two weeks and 3 days," she said carefully.

A look of horror showed on Remy's face and the smile she wore only seconds before faded away. "There were some complications while they were operating, that's probably why," she told the brunette.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm really sorry I put you through this, Ally."

"It's okay," she said, squeezing her hand a little. "I'll call a nurse and tell the others that you're awake okay? I won't be long," the blonde said in a reassuring tone, seeing Thirteen's face fall a little.

She turned around and when she was about to loosen her grip on Remy's hand, the brunette held her back.

"Wait," she heard her say.

She looked back at her girlfriend questioningly.

"I want to show you something," she said, a little smile displaying on her face again

"Help me with this," she said pointing at her blanket. Not sure what this was all about, she took the blanket off of her girlfriend. She looked back at her, confusion all over her face. What was she supposed to see?

"Wait and see," Remy said, motioning to her legs.

Allison turned her head and watched with amazement as Remy's toes moved. She looked back at her, her eyes watering again as she hugged her.

"Oh my god," she said full of joy. "You can move your legs again."

"Well it's only my toes but yeah," Remy said a big smile plastered to her face. "Now go tell the news to everyone. The sooner you go, the sooner you're back."

"Yes, I'll be right back," the blonde said, kissing her again, more passionate this time and lingering on the brunettes lips a little longer than before. She returned the blanket and caressed her girlfriend's cheeks once more before leaving the room.

About two minutes after Cameron left the room a nurse came in to check on her. She checked her vitals and wrote a few things down on the chart in her hand. She looked up at Remy and smiled at her.

"I see you're doing better Dr. Hadley. I'm sure everyone will be relieved to hear you're awake," she said friendly. "I'll just check on your legs okay?"

"Yeah sure," Remy answered, returning her smile.

The nurse took away the blanket that Cameron had placed over her girlfriend again earlier and pinched into Remy's left leg.

"Can you feel that?"

"Yeah a little."

"Well, I don't think I'll have to tell you that that's perfectly normal, do I?"

"No, it's okay," Remy said, smiling at her again.

"Well, alright. You'll have to be here for about another week and then we'll sign you up for rehabilitation. I'll check on you again tomorrow morning. See you then Dr. Hadley," she said before leaving the room.

"Yeah, see you," the brunette answered, smiling at the nurse once more.

Before Remy could think of anything the door burst open and her father came storming into the room.

"You're awake," he almost screamed, hugging her tightly.

"Yes I am Dad, but actually I won't be awake for long if I can't breathe," she said in a joking manner.

"Still the old Remy I see," he smiled lovingly at his daughter.

"What did you think Victor? Don't tell me you actually hoped she would change," they heard Allison laughing from the door, a smiling Dr. Cuddy standing next to her.

The Dean of Medicine entered the room to show that House was also standing beside her.

"You know you're stupid Thirty-One right?" Well, House was still House after all.

"Of course, that didn't change either. But that's why I'm perfect for your team," she said a big smile plastered to her face.

"Yeah right, I give you four weeks to come back to work. One day more and I'll fire you," he said turning around and leaving the room.

"We'll see about that," Cuddy said shaking her head at House's statement. "I'm glad you're okay Dr. Hadley. Take as much time as you need to come back. You're always welcome," she said, leaving the room as well.

Victor leaned down and kissed his daughter on the forehead before giving the two women some time alone. "I love you sweety."

"I love you too dad."

Cameron went to Remy again and sat down on her bed, taking her hand again and interlacing their fingers. The brunette motioned for her to lie down next to her and Allison did without saying a word, looking into her girlfriend's green sparkling eyes. Remy lay on her back with their still interlaced fingers on her stomach. She took Allison's hand and kissed the back of it.

"Everything's going to be okay now, babe."

* * *

**So this is what you've all been waiting for. Next chapter will be the last one actually and hopefully it won't take me to long to update but I have two weeks of exams now, so I don't know when I'll be able to. But I hope you liked this one. Just tell me if you liked it ;)**


	27. Thank you for loving me

**Okay guys, I know it took me like ages…again. But I had exams and work and my ex gf visiting me, visited my parents, vacation on Ibiza… busy busy. And I actually wasn't quite sure how to end this. But yes here it is-finally. The last chapter. So I hope you'll like it ;)**

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Half a year later

"Baby, I'm home!" Allison loved saying these words when she came home. She always did. She loved coming home, knowing that her girlfriend would be there as well. She was surprised though to find it with the lights all out.

"Remy?"

"I'm outside babe," she heard a silent answer.

She went through the hall into the living room and took of her coat, placing it on the back of the couch. She looked at the wall full of pictures of the both of them and smiled before walking out to the veranda finding the brunette with her back to her. Slowly she walked up to her and snaked her arms around her lover, hugging her from behind and placing a kiss on the back of her neck.

"Hey babe," Remy greeted her, a smile on her face, turning her head so she could kiss the blonde properly and then snuggled back into her, enjoying the comfort she got from the embrace.

"You know you shouldn't be on your legs for too long without support," Allison whispered carefully, knowing it wasn't Remy's favorite subject.

The brunette had made a lot of progress. She started working again 2 months after the day she woke up. Those two months she spent in rehabilitation, working on learning to walk again. She laughed at that idea, learning to walk again…but that's exactly what it was for her. As soon as she was able to walk on crutches she went back to work and every day after work went to the physical therapist on the second floor.

She was walking without crutches now but still had a cane to support herself if she stood for too long. She never took it to work though, knowing exactly that House would never get over the fact that there's someone else with a cane.

She rarely used her cane anymore but she still did in front of Allison normally because she knew the blonde was worried sick. Today though she wanted to show her just as much progress she had made.

She spun around, surprising the ER doctor with the action, keeping a hold on her with her hands on her hips. The blonde smiled at her, placing her arms on the taller woman's shoulders, never breaking eye contact.

_It's hard for me to say the things  
I want to say sometimes  
There's no one here but you and me  
And that broken old street light  
Lock the doors  
We'll leave the world outside*_

Remy's lips formed a mischievous grin when she saw that her girlfriend chose to wear a skirt to work this morning.

Without saying a word the brunette kissed her passionately. Allison tried to break contact once to say something, but Remy wouldn't have it.

Slowly directing her girlfriend backwards until her back hit the wall, she surprised the woman yet again by lifting her up and holding her up against the wooden walls attacking her neck with her lips.

Suddenly not so worried anymore, Allison looped her legs around the other woman and moaned out loud. She missed this. It's not like they didn't have sex those last months but spontaneous, crazy things like that just weren't possible.

_I never knew I had a dream  
Until that dream was you  
When I look into your eyes  
The sky's a different blue  
Cross my heart  
I wear no disguise*_

Feeling Allison's body pressed to hers she felt all the fear, all the pain, all the sorrows and all the struggles that the last year was, slowly fade away in a flood of kisses, touches and whispers. Dipping into the water where there's no worries, no death sentence, no insecurities. Just them. A wave of skin to skin left her feeling nothing but hope and confidence.

When she entered her she felt as if she was whole again and when she heard her screaming out her name as she climaxed in her arms, she knew that she was exactly where she was supposed to be.

Slowly Remy laid them down on the wooden veranda, half of the blonde's body resting on her, her head on her shoulder.

"That was amazing," Allison whispered, still out of breath, coming down from her high.

Softly Remy kissed her on the top of her head, lingering for a while. "No, you are amazing. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being there for me, for not giving up on me and supporting me when I most needed it. For being you. Thank you for loving me."

_Thank you for loving me  
For being my eyes  
When I couldn't see  
For parting my lips  
When I couldn't breathe  
Thank you for loving me*_

_**THE END**_

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***Bon Jovi – Thank you for loving me**

**Thank you so much for reading this. I hope you like how it ended. At some point I had to let out my romantic side, right? ) Feel free to leave a review ;)**


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